an account on aceh

well, like i said earlier, don't expect too much from this place... i am still lost for words...

today is my last day here in aceh, tomorrow, 1st thing in the morning i'll leave for medan... now, my heart is already back home... but unfortunately, i have to wait 5 hours in medan before i can fly back to kl...

in short, this trip has been tiring, this has been the longest trip i had to aceh... previously, i had other feelings for the people and the place... i felt sorry for them, they have been through so much, so why complain? but this time, me feelings changed totally... a couple of months ago, it seemed some guy was killed... supposedly, this guy is part of some NGOs to aid the reconstruction of this town... i was surprised... is this how you treat people who come to help you? but i wasn't quick to judge, i just listened to their stories...

and then, when i arrived at site, more stories flooded my head, the local are threatening our contractors, in short these people wanted money... money that they don't deserve... many people have came to help them, and i bet you the town is in a better state than it was before the tsunami, not sure, my opinion... these people who came to help has brought development to the people here, and perhaps, the people here saw that money was good, and greed overcame them, and they want more... don't this people ever learn? if they continue to press, it's just going to take the development away, and this place will be like this for the rest of the time...

met paul for dinner during the weekend, he seemed to have a different opinion about aceh... he seems to think that it wasn't as bad as i thought, but of course, he knows better since his been working here for sometime... and i was merely a visitor...

i didn't really roam the place, i only commute between the hotel and site... my observation, well, i guess malaysia was like that when i was 3... roads are dual carriage way without proper road markings... cows roam the land too... and goats as well... there are still a lot of space for development, if and only if, the mentality of the people here change...

as for work, i am tired, stressed, and well, sick of the work here... some of you may already heard my complains, i am not writing my complains here, i just wanted to forget my bad experience here, so no writing...

August 16, 2007

Here I am sitting in the Medan airport waiting for my flight to Aceh… many thing filled my mind… we’ll start from the beginning…

Refuse to wake up when the alarm went off, when I finally forced myself up, mom was already on her way to wake me for the second time… and she told me the taxi man is already waiting, so what else, I rushed to get ready, and hopped into the taxi…

Reaching KLIA, I can’t help but noticed that the airport if filled with flowers, it must be the floral fest again… and the flowers really cheered me… after checking in, I went for my coffee at the usual place and had a bun, man was I hungry?

In the plane, I sat next to this couple… very intimate couple indeed… they were like hugging all the way, never mind, I slept all the way, well, almost all the way…

Reaching Medan, Zainal was waiting… I got my passport stamped, and went to wait for my luggage, remind me not to bring good bags to Indonesia… this is the 2nd time my luggage was damaged in Indonesia… I didn’t bother to complain, it would be a waste of time, so, live with it and when I get home, I have to buy new baggage…

Lately, I have not been happy, with many things, with work, home, people, I was too sensitive with people’s remark… and the yesterday I told Cube about it, she introduced me to the term “separation anxiety”… boy, this is new to me… and she said must be because I missed hubby too much… and I said, ya, but I wasn’t like thinking about him all the time, and she said, it’s not the mind, it’s the body… and she also said, “the mind is logical, the body is emotional” and I was thinking about what she said…

The mind is logical? Not sure, mine was never logical… I am simply this silly gurl who doesn’t waste time thinking… I know, this may sound bizarre to some people, I am a planner, or my profession is a planner, how can I not think? And some of you may think that I am the “organized” person… well, the truth is, I am not, so not… my life is a mess, and the projects are in an irrecoverable state… if I am that good a planner, then perhaps, things will be better…

The body is emotional? Err… not sure too, how is the body emotional? I thought emotions come from feelings… how is it then related to the body?

I am so down lately, everything just don’t seem right, and all this happened after my India trip, and I am starting to believe that I am demon-posessed… nah, just kidding… just that I’ve be reflecting a lot lately, and I looked back at my life, things that I’ve done… and I came to see that I’ve not done anything significant or spectacular… I’ve made bad decisions, hurt some people, and made some enemies along the way… and I guess the person I hurt the most is my dad… I never had the chance to apologize and now, what can I do? Nothing!

It dawned to me that, I may do well in school, not the best student, but always among the best… was in the best class since I can remember… no, don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to boast here… but I failed, big time in life…

Enuff of my soppy stories, I bet you are sound asleep by now… well, lets hope that I have interesting things to say about Acheh… this is not the first time I’m there, so don’t expect a lot… this is my fifth time there, and I am not expecting this trip to be different from the four I’ve had…

virus attack

It’s a regular Tuesday for me and nothing spectacular happened except the fact that my computer has been infected with some virus. As I’m typing this, my laptop is still under the care of the IT department, and I am using the general PC… so, if you by any chance received some funny files from me, please do not open it, just discard it immediately, and don’t say I don’t warn you…

I was supposed to update this yesterday, but I was too busy. So since I cannot do anything else right now, I might as well start searching for words now… yesterdays was a day of meeting old friends, well, although not physically meeting them, I managed to get in touch with some old uni friends online…

Shocking news is all I can say… Huey See is now preggy… and the best part is, she didn’t even inform me that she was married, ya some kind of friend! Anyway, she is expecting ion November and my best wishes to her… I sibuk trying to find nice baby names for her lagi…

Some of you may not know who she is, well, she was a junior in uni, graduated two years after me in a degree of E&E Engineering… not directly my junior, but we both graduated from the school of engineering and information technology, and in case you’re wondering, yes, I have an engineering degree, although I am not a practicing engineer… funny how I end up here…

She was with two other gurls, man, my direct junior, and ket, a chemical student… all smart people… I was in my final year when these three gurls reported to the uni, man was staying opposite my room, with another gurl, Iris, some drama student (I cannot really remember tho’)… the three gurls together with Iris, always hang out in man’s room, and they tend to cook in the room, and since I am a “senior”, I’m always invited… and that’s how we started hanging out together…

You may find it peculiar why I’m hanging out with younger students, well, it’s simple, I am a loner and I don’t like competition, younger students don’t compete with you but instead they serve you good food…

So, my best wishes to Huey See, have a good time being a mom… to me, moms are the most precious creation of God… of course, 2nd to the Son of God…

I’ll be going to acheh (again!) this Thursday and will be back the week after only… this time, I promise that I will put some effort to write about that place, I’ve been there several times, but never bother to write… enough of my nonsense today, expect more nonsense from acheh, that is, if I have connection, but even if I don’t, I’ll still write, just that I’ll post later…

my life is going virtual!

man, i hate to say this but it's true, my life is going virtual... i spend too much time in front of my computer and i almost have no life... well, i have no life!

on the average weekdays, i wake up at 6, i go to the office and work til 6, and then i go home, usually reach home at about 7, and that's 13 hours... take away 2 hours i use for travelling, 1 hour for lunch, i spend 10 hours in front of my computer... reaching home, i take one hour for dinner, bathing, and then, i switch on my computer again, and spend another 3 to 4 hours there... and then i sleep, and this goes on and on and on...

on the average weekend, i wake up at noon, and turned on my computer almost immediately... can spend the whole day there until i fall asleep again... the only time i spend outside will be church on sunday mornings, and that is only about 2 hours...

i told you i have no life... i don't even call budak kecik on the phone to chat anymore... what is wrong with me? i talk to people over MSN, YM, skype, in-game, etc... but i don't talk to real people anymore... i mean, not that those people are not real, just that, i don't share laughters, i don't touch... the only laughters i get is "lol", "lmao", and the only things i touch are my keyboard and mouse...

i must do something about my life... 1st i must quit my games... otherwise i won't have time for anything... but damn! those games are addicting! i shall quit some of my games... especially those that demand all my time... like fallensword and cyber-wars... but to leave these games is not going to be easy...

then i'll do something physical, like picking up my guitar again... left it for so long, i think it's about time i move my fingers...

all these are just mere plans... i shall put them into action... i shall do it alright... i will do it... aww... who am i kidding? how can i spend time away from my computer when i talk to hubby using the computer? man, this sucks... can someone come up with some ideas? like asking me out for a movie sometimes, or go yum cha sometimes... eh... where are all of you when i needed you the most? somebody help!!!