Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Day 31

Today I am not sad, I missed you but I was not as sad as yesterday. Desmond said it will be in phases, sometimes sad, sometimes not so sad. I still think of you the moment I opened by eyes, I know I won't get to see you, but maybe because of something Teng posted yesterday. She said she hasn't seen you for one month, but it also meant that it is already one month lesser until she see you again. Perhaps, today I felts that as time flies, the time between now and when I see you again is nearer.

The other day I told you that we will be getting a bonus for project completion, but nothing. Get cheated. I have put aside your monthly allowance, what do you want to do with it? Tell me ok, otherwise, I will help you to give Ariel, Wesley, Ian and Bradley angpow for their birthdays and christmas and chinese new year. The rest I will keep until when they need money to go to study in the future. I remember I said if Siong will not send Wesley to pursue his dreams, I will send. I will try my best to keep that promise. If you have other things you want me to do, tell me. I will be waiting and listening to your voice. Teng dreams of you many times, but I never get to dream of you. Come and visit me sometime, so that I can see you too and hold your hands again, even if it is a dream, it would suffice my longing to see you.

31 days is very long for not talking to you or to see you. When I was in Sabah, I come back every semester, but I will call you whenever I can, at least once a week. When I worked in Mersing, Yong Peng, Pontian, Taiping I don't come back that often but I still call you at least once a week. I have not stop talking to you, and I will not stop. Keeping this blog is a good idea to help me deal with missing you, I somehow feel that if it is written down, you will see it. You never knew how to read English, but I think you understood every word that is written here, I am sure Jesus will explain to you. I am sure you are happy now, with Jesus by your side, you don't need tongkat Hern to help you move around anymore. Don't forget me, please. Please remember to wait for me. I want to see you again and call you Machi. Are you still bickering with Lodao? Tell him I am sorry and that I love him too. I love you Ma! 

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