it's all my fault...

Your top priority is Lhoknga… I believe I heard right, this is not the 1st time I am hearing this, I’m cool with it…

But what I am not cool with is, why tell me now that this is my top priority? A year ago, when I asked for more involvement in this project, answer was “NO, we have a site planner, you only need to be involved up to the time when the contract is awarded” so, contract has been awarded for a year, I am not involved in this project directly, I have not attended to any project meeting, suddenly, boss came up to me and told me “other than Jacques, you are the only one who is in the middle of everything”… since when have I been in the middle of everything? Since when this has become my baby?

I was involved in the beginning stage, and then it was instructed that I hand over to the site guy… which I did, and then the site guy resigned, I was asked to take over from him until they find a replacement… when they found a replacement, I was not informed. There was no handing over whatsoever… naturally that guy at site have not a single idea of what is going on… and then I was told to take my hands off this project, which is fine, because I need to work on a few other Indian projects…

And then, out of the blue, the told me that they’ve engaged an expert from Switzerland to do up a project plan, and I was told to tag along to assist him to get the info… and the tagging along process ended rather bad for me, because I ended up being the one who does everything… the site guy commented “this is not my work” and the expert said, “well, it looks like you have to do it”… I didn’t complain, although I really am upset over the whole thing, after I completed my assignment, the expert just mail that stupid thing to my boss and assume that he has done all the work… and he gets paid like don’t know how many umpteen thousands of Euros… and I get peanuts…

After that, I was asked to revised his work according to the site conditions, and then I started digging for all available information… a lot of information are missing… so I questioned the designer, I questioned the technical managers, and I cannot get answers… so, it is my fault that information are missing?

the expeditor missed a date, and I was blamed for not highlighting it? How can I highlight anything when the information is not available? I am supposed to run a look ahead to know what are the tasks that should be taking place, but how the hell would I know if I don’t have complete information?

The award of the equipment erectors has not been done and this is my fault? I planned to have erection works in March ‘08, so people, get it awarded before March…

I asked for a progress update from site and got a reply after 5 e-mails… I asked for schedule update from suppliers and contractors, and I have not got a single reply, so what am I supposed to do? A mission was planned for next week, but it was not confirmed, and this is my fault? Damn, everything is my fault! I need confirmation like there are actually people working before I go to site, what is the point of going to site when there is no one working? The steel structures came down, and thank god, for once, this is not my fault… but is there a stop work order? If there is, what is the point of going to site? When I asked for confirmation of mission, I have no reply, and this is my fault again… man, my job really sucks…

I cannot have information at my finger tips when I have no idea what goes on where… I cannot be in the project for one day and out the next day, and still know every single detail of the project, like when the next shipment will arrive… why would I need to be doing all this, when this should be done at site level? Why would be doing this when you are already paying someone at site to do it? And to make the matter worst, the guy at site gets paid more than me… I really get peanuts… so I guess that makes me a monkey… as the saying goes “if you pay peanuts, you get monkey”...

i think it's time for me to say "this is not my job"... i think this is really over and above my original scope...