It has been 26 days since I last saw you. These 26 days has been very hard. I still cannot talk about you without tearing up. 妈妈, 我想你. I don't how to write these words, so I googled them.
There are a lot of things I want to tell you, but when I am typing out the words, I can't seemed to find them. The alarm just went off indicating that it is time to call you. Do you remember I will try to call you to talk to you using video call. Sometimes, I cannot hear what you say mostly because you were tired and is unable to talk loudly and clearly. But I remember not too long ago, at the end of one of the phone call, you suddenly laughed and I asked you why, you said you are happy because you saw me. I was also very happy that day.
I heard a song the other day, maybe Jesus wants me to know that you are happy in heaven. This song is written by a lady who lost her husband, the song said that when she saw his face, she knows that he is in a better place. The song also said that her husband is a man who doesn't like to leave his house but when he saw heaven and the love that is coming from heaven, how can he stay here. The song reminded me of you too, you didn't like to go away from the house too much, and you wanted to go home so badly when you were in the hospital. I thought you were not ready to leave us, and I thought you would at least wait until Ariel comes home in November. Even Boon thought so too, but perhaps on that day you were is so much pain and Jesus came to show you the love in heaven, so how could you stay? Everyone who saw you when you fell asleep in the Lord said that you looked very peaceful, Alyssa even said you are smiling, and yes I see it too, a smile.
I know I am very selfish and I wanted you for a little longer, I am sorry but it is very hard for me. I pretend that I am strong and I will be ok, but ma, I am not ok. I have kept you phone line on, and your room the way it is. I am still hoping that you would come back. At least come visit sometime.
There are a lot of things I want to tell you, but when I am typing out the words, I can't seemed to find them. The alarm just went off indicating that it is time to call you. Do you remember I will try to call you to talk to you using video call. Sometimes, I cannot hear what you say mostly because you were tired and is unable to talk loudly and clearly. But I remember not too long ago, at the end of one of the phone call, you suddenly laughed and I asked you why, you said you are happy because you saw me. I was also very happy that day.
I heard a song the other day, maybe Jesus wants me to know that you are happy in heaven. This song is written by a lady who lost her husband, the song said that when she saw his face, she knows that he is in a better place. The song also said that her husband is a man who doesn't like to leave his house but when he saw heaven and the love that is coming from heaven, how can he stay here. The song reminded me of you too, you didn't like to go away from the house too much, and you wanted to go home so badly when you were in the hospital. I thought you were not ready to leave us, and I thought you would at least wait until Ariel comes home in November. Even Boon thought so too, but perhaps on that day you were is so much pain and Jesus came to show you the love in heaven, so how could you stay? Everyone who saw you when you fell asleep in the Lord said that you looked very peaceful, Alyssa even said you are smiling, and yes I see it too, a smile.
I know I am very selfish and I wanted you for a little longer, I am sorry but it is very hard for me. I pretend that I am strong and I will be ok, but ma, I am not ok. I have kept you phone line on, and your room the way it is. I am still hoping that you would come back. At least come visit sometime.
No comments:
Post a Comment