suicidal

i think i am at the verge of committing suicide... ok... ok.. just kidding...

life has not been fair, i've had a hard life as a kid... growing up was not easy, i go to school with a bunch of brats, rich spoilt brats for that matter... i was the "unlucky" few who got subsidised textbooks... when i got into the class top ten, the rich and famous said "let me see you papers", not believing that someone not as rich as them can make it to the top ten...

working life was even harder, working in a male dominated industry, people looked at me with "coloured" vision... when i 1st started work, one guy told me "what are you doing here? you should go back to the kitchen" come on... what era is this? do you still think that the "weaker" gender belongs to the kitchen?

well, i struggled and sustained and made it quite far... although i hate to admit it, i am awfully tired of all the things that i am doing... sometimes i wake up early in the morning and think to myself, wouldn't it be nice if my place was really in the kitchen? wouldn't it be nice if i was less smart or less competitive... life would be simpler... i will go to bed thinking of what to cook the next day, instead of thinking how to get so much done in so little time... i would sleep better...

i'm sure many of you are going through what i'm going through now, any advise? how to overcome this? i'm really lost this time...