a typical saturday... the day began with me doing the laundry... chuck everything into the washer and press the start button... after that i opened up the box of my new washer, assemble a couple of things, and chuck all the under garments into it and press the start button... and then sat at the computer to play ghost trappers, my latest craze... and then, me and hubby went out for breaky...

came home, and hubby helped put the laundry out in the sun, while i listened to "written in the stars" and played some games... after that put somemore laundry into the washing machine... ya, i have that much of laundry to do in a week, one more load, which i will wait for tomorrow...

i sat and play somemore game while he slept of the couch... told me to wake him up in 10 mins, and then when i did, he said 5 more, so i let him sleep...

i started doing some x-stitches... he got up and get ready to do his business... anyway, i let him to do all the things on his own... he did not speak to me... and i continue to do my stitches and watch tv at the same time...

i am always amaze how many things i can do at the same time, i stitching, watching tv, and a whole lot of things went through my mind, at the same time formulating the words for this update... among the things that went through my mind is that i want to escape somewhere... i am tired of living... i am wondering what is going through my hubby's mind, is he angry with me or something? why is he ignoring me? what did i do wrong this time?

with all the things going on around home, around work, i am wearing out... i hate to go to the office, i want to stay at home to rest, but under normal circumstances i cannot get proper rest when i am at home either... i'll be stressed out with a totally different sort of thing... i'll be wondering if i played too much game online, spend too much time chatting, watch too much tv... but heck i wanna rest, these are the stuff that people do when they rest... but no, i cannot do all those as and when i like... i need to be accountable, i need to make sure that no one is offended with the things i do... i can get stupid sometimes... i was even thinking of running away from home... go somewhere, but i have no where to go... i feel like a stray...

i think i am finally ready to leave for india... maybe spending time away will be a good idea... at least i can get my thoughts together... i feel like crap lately... with all the things happening around me... i try to keep a positive attitude, but it's breaking me down... i wanted desperately to cry, but it comes a time where tears cannot wash away the pain... and i run out of tears supplies too...

he just left the house, and still not speaking to me...