this is even better...

and i thot my murderer example was good, but i guess i liked this better...

getting x* to 'help' is like having a rapist rape your daughters, several of them leaving home for good, and then having that rapist come back to you and say 'hey, sorry, i was just mad at you. let me make it up by taking your daughters to dinner. oh, by the way, i still hate you."

*names removed for good.

Recent events have unfolded a few ugly truths about people… The most amazing part of it all is, one person destroys and yet blames another person for all his actions… and people are buying the story…

Well, to me it’s as simple as this… A man kills another man and his whole family, plead innocent in front of a judge, his defense is, the dead man has a bad problem, and I am killing the whole family to wake him up, I have full intention of reviving his family after that, and the judge ruled, “NOT GUILTY, now go revive the family, it wasn’t the murderer faults, the dead man bring this upon himself and his family, so dead man, you are GUILTY and be subjected to eternal judgment”… It is clear that no one can revive the dead, and the damages done are beyond repair, but people are still naïve enough to think that the revival is possible.

Of course, the recent event did not kill anyone at all, but spirits are burnt and tormented, and if this man or any of his friends who buy his stories thinks that he can repair all the damages, they can try… but my point is, when a mirroris broken, even if you managed to stick it back to one piece, the scar is still evident. Even if the man succeeds in reviving everyone that was innocently implicated, will the wound heal? For me, I would rather stay dead than to “owe” the man who has caused all this, a favor, because he revived me.

With this point made, I now rest in eternal peace!

worst weekend in a long time

most of you already know, i play games online... i spent too much time online, i hardly go out, i hardly open my mouth to speak, all i do is face the computer, whether at home or at work...

on friday, as i was waiting to go the project review meeting, hubby messaged me and told me that i was kicked out of a guild, in one of the games that i played, i was wondering, why? as i cannot access to the game while at work, i have to wait until i go home, and since that stupid meeting was postponed to later that evening, i can't go home...

when i was in that meeting, my heart and mind was not in it, i have no way of answering anything the managers said, and they then decided that i need to go to aceh to better evaluate the progress... which means, i am going to aceh again, aww... my evening has just turned from bad to worse...

anyway, the meeting was adjourned early, all thanks to me... coming out of the meeting i managed to speak to hubby again, and he told me all the stuff he knew that was happening to the guild, in the game...

i rushed home and the 1st thing i did was to login to the game and see for myself... the kick from the guild was done by someone we trusted, all just because he was not happy with one person. man! i was devastated, it suddenly dawned on me that this is no longer a game, the people that were in it is like family, all with a common interest, all devastated over an event, and event that can never be undone, and event that causes many to loose heart... i guess i was one of them...

some of you reading this may say that "you are indeed the silliest thing", but i tell you, i am not, i spent many hours and effort in that game, and the people i met are real people, and it hurts to see great players like them leave the game, all because some people are cannot think properly...

enough said, i am still recuperating from the event... still pissed...

suicidal

i think i am at the verge of committing suicide... ok... ok.. just kidding...

life has not been fair, i've had a hard life as a kid... growing up was not easy, i go to school with a bunch of brats, rich spoilt brats for that matter... i was the "unlucky" few who got subsidised textbooks... when i got into the class top ten, the rich and famous said "let me see you papers", not believing that someone not as rich as them can make it to the top ten...

working life was even harder, working in a male dominated industry, people looked at me with "coloured" vision... when i 1st started work, one guy told me "what are you doing here? you should go back to the kitchen" come on... what era is this? do you still think that the "weaker" gender belongs to the kitchen?

well, i struggled and sustained and made it quite far... although i hate to admit it, i am awfully tired of all the things that i am doing... sometimes i wake up early in the morning and think to myself, wouldn't it be nice if my place was really in the kitchen? wouldn't it be nice if i was less smart or less competitive... life would be simpler... i will go to bed thinking of what to cook the next day, instead of thinking how to get so much done in so little time... i would sleep better...

i'm sure many of you are going through what i'm going through now, any advise? how to overcome this? i'm really lost this time...

"ghost"

since man brought it up... i'll fill you readers in with a creepy story...

it was my final year in the uni... moved back to the campus, shared a room on the 23rd floor with a course mate, eleanor... she is a sabahan... and a pretty one indeed... ok, that's not the point...

the two of us got along quite well initially... so we walk to lectures together... and we studied together in the room... it wasn't long before we realise something was wrong with the room... we had "encounters"... there were too many of these "encounters"... and i was freaked out...

for a start, we both love to leave the music on when we study... i had speakers, she had headphones... when we study, we don't face each other, well, not our fault, the tables are facing the wall, so we studied facing the wall, and backing each other... one day, while we were studying, she was humming to some really nice songs, and i had cassettes on, and since she was humming to such nice songs, i thought i'll switch to the radio, because i know very well which station she listens to, radio 4, sorry, those days, the astro stations cannot be heard from sabah... so, i turn off the cassette and turn on to radio 4, i was surprised, it was heavy metal on the station, and trust me, it was not normal for radio 4 to have such songs... so i turned it off, thinking that maybe just maybe she had some other station on... as i was too lazy to turn on the cassette again, i continue reading while the radio was off, and before long, the radio turned itself on again... i was in shock, so, i turned it off, took my book and went to bed instead... and there goes my day... later in the evening, out of curiosity, i asked her which station she was listening to, and she calmly told me "today only radio 4, the songs are great"...

and then there was this other time, we both were studying, and suddenly, there was some sound at the door, and we were sure someone was trying to get it, we looked and it stopped... we starred at each other, didn't say a word, and look back into our books...

and another time, also while we were studying, we heard a knock on the door, and i happily exclaimed "come in" no one was there, so i got up and went to the door, and she shouted, "don't open the door"... i looked at her, and she looked pale, really pale... she said, i have just invite IT into the room, and i was like??? and she started telling me her part of the story... it seemed in the nite, the "thing" has actually told her to open the door... scarry, right... anyway, i am not sure how many more encounters we had, but definitely not a good experience...

eleanor was freaked, and then she moved away, there isn't any other room for me, so i stayed back in that creepy room... and then, after she left, things were a little better... although i'm still freaked, i was getting use to IT's presence...

and then, one day, iris' and man's room had trouble, the fan wasn't working, and since i have a spare bed, man can to sleep in my room, and she survived one night... and the next night, she chose to sleep in her hot and stuffy room...

so, man, if you are reading this, and you want to put your comments about my room and the "thing" feel free to do so...

i was just thinking, maybe i imagined the whole thing up... it was final year, remember? i must be so stressed up trying to get my grades up...