My Silly Blog

what happened to me?

2010-03-17T16:07:00.003+08:00

i wonder if you notice, i have been offline for ages... and when i say offline, i meant offline... i hardly come online anymore, not blogging, not chatting, and not even gaming...

i must say that all these was a little hard for me when i decided to stop, but after sometime, well, it all fall into place...

these days, i come to work, and then go home, and then watch some tv, online for a very short time, just to check emails, and then go to bed, and repeat all that... life is kinda bored, but stable...

like usual, i am working hard... been working too hard, have no life still... except i have found this new craze, i am crazy over korean and taiwanese drama... i even stayed up to 4 in the morning just watching taiwanese drama... well, yeah, it only takes me about 5 nites to finish a drama of 28 episodes...

the other thing i am crazy about is hana yori dango... yeah, started from boys over flowers (a korean drama, the leads are hot!) and then i started reading the manga online, and soon after, i was watching down with love (a taiwanese drama, lead actor is jerry yan, which is kinda hot too) and now i am watching meteor garden (a story based on hana yori dango)... well, 1st i thought jerry was hot, so i tried to search for the other shows that he starred in, which leads me to meteor garden, the show that took him to stardom, how can i miss that, and since it's related to the same story as boys over flowers, and hana yori dango, i thought i should never ever miss it - see how the things connect now... after watching the taiwanese and korean version, i must say that the korean version is way better... but it's unfair for me to draw such comparison since, the taiwanese version was like a decade old already... well, a lot happens in a decade... conclusion is hana yori dango is a good manga... almost 20 years from the date of 1st publication, and people are still watching... way to go kamio yoko!!! (i think that's the name of the creator)

other than that, i am been seriously considering retirement... 10 years of working hard has really taken me down... i realise that after working so hard for so long, it's like making me crazy, i guess this is the time for me to say enuff is enuff... only problem is, last week, another company head hunted me down for a job... and like usual, i am tempted to take up the new job, but it's a korean company, and i am not sure if i have the energy to be working for koreans, you know how they are, they work non-stop...

i was chatting with serena earlier today, and she has already submitted her resignation, which, makes me wanna submit mine too... ah i should wait for another month, as planned, but urghh...

when i 1st decided that i wanna quit my job, i was kinda worried about things, that i wouldn't be able to get along, you know, loans and expenses... and then there is another big factor, MOM!!! but last week, i told her about my intentions... she was amazingly very supportive, she even said, if you are not happy working, might as well quit, otherwise if you breakdown, it will be worst... i was not expecting that she said that... i was expecting that she will say that, why not look for alternatives 1st... looks like she notice the kind of bad condition i am in these days... so it's firm then, i am quitting my job, question is when, when do i finally have the courage to throw the letter? initially i was planning for june, so that i have a full 10 years, but now, i am hoping that i can do it next week... urghhh... my head hurts!

it's such a shameful act

2010-01-11T17:05:00.002+08:00

some fanatics has decided to do some stupid stuff and bombed some churches... it's sad... but what do they know? the strength of the church is not in the building... the strength of the church is made up of people, joint together through Christ and in Christ! let's hope that these people will come to their senses and stop these stupid act!

an account on my 1st week at work

2009-11-08T11:22:00.002+08:00

on monday, i arrived an hour early to report to work, not many people were in the office, so i spent my 1st day reading and trying to sort things out myself... had dinner with paul and pratheeban, which is like awesome... the guys, just made me laugh and laugh, and i laugh so hard, i think i cried... the good old days...

on tuesday, again, arriving an hour early, and the office has more people, and then, the action started, meetings and handovers, gosh, so much to absorb, but my puny brain isnt build for all these... and then they told me that i should report to site the following day... what about accomodation? where do i stay? man, this is no good... during the interview, they said that i can have the option of living alone or they provide, i said i prefer to stay on my own... about a month before i report to work, they told me that only if they fail to provide, then i can stay on my own, so i did not look for a place, and now they told me that they did not look for a place for me since i wanted to stay on my own... crazy...

on wednesday, drove to kamunting with hubby... they manage to find a place for me, and well, the place is crappy, ended up staying at this cheapskate hotel with hubby... thankfully we found a place, but the guy needed a week to clear the place for us... so i guess by next monday or tuesday i should be able to move into the house...

on thursday, meeting, discussion, reading, nothing nice...

friday, i am starting to blend in... the place is nice, quite and nice views... weather was good... rain and rain and rain...

by saturday i am already tired... drove back to klang after work... and now i am just resting and doing nothing...

to sum up, the new place isnt that bad, but the new company is kinda crappy... they don't give us internet access at all, only email... and then when i walk past the it guys, i saw them surfing like crazy and chatting like nobody's business, talk about control, grrr...

i ordered my dell, not too sure when i'll get it, and once i get it, i'll at least have a computer to update and chat and play some games... we'll see...

unemployed

2009-10-31T16:42:00.002+08:00

being unemployed isnt that bad really... i gave back the handphone and computer to the office and drove home after that...

it started to rain as i was driving home... i guess i was no longer rushing, relaxed maybe, and the rain slowed me down, so i sang to the radio, and drive home slowly... seriously nothing on my mind, never knew that having no work stress can be feel so good...

i cant chat online as i have yet to buy a new laptop... so i tried to use the phone to go online, not the easiest thing to do... check a few emails, replied from fellow colleagues to my "farewell" mail earlier... most are good wishes and some really funny... nick said "you are free at last"... and bidyut said "i know i'll be tempted to call you..."

driving back from office brought back bitter sweet memories from the workplace... already i am missing all the fun times gossiping with faridah and roza... and faridah... she is such a wonderful person to work with... and she too said she missed me already...

the worst part about all these is that you leave behind the great people you have worked with... the company isnt the best in this world, but the teammates, has got to be one of the best... you don't get combination like this much tho'... people from all corners of the world, and yet blend together so nicely... miss all of you already!

went to bed at 9 last nite... nice nice nice...

this morning, wanted to call my mom and sister for breaky, then sis said she wants to send ian over, so it's babysitting for me... took ian swimming, kinda relaxing... a weekend of doing nothing...

now, i am using sis' comp to come online, still wondering if i wanna get a laptop or i should just stay away from computers...

maybe i should stay offline for good? let's see...

beijing

2009-10-12T15:17:00.002+08:00

the phone rang at around 5 in the morning on friday... the guy said that the flight will be delayed to 10:40, i drop back to bed and slept...

arrived in the airport, checked in and went to the lounge... at the lounge, i saw the cutest thing... a boy, i think around the age of ian, was at the food table... he took so much of the packaged biscuits, and he kept dropping them... he must have at least taken like 10 or 12 packs... and then a lady asked what he was doing... he just said "i will be in shanghai, my mommy told me to take lots of this so that i will have something to eat later"...

spend some 6 hours on board, watched 3 movies, almost... i did not finish the last show i was watching, they came to collect the device back... after the 2nd movie, i wanted to nap, and i thot i napped, i woke up to realise that it was only 15 minutes...

arrival at beijing was pretty smooth... came out and saw the guy waiting for me, so i followed him to the carpark, while waiting for the car to come, i witness a fight!!!

nothing much happened in beijing so far... went to work, go back, handover, go dinner, lunch, sleep, got scolded by taxi driver (i also dunno what happened, he just suddenly shouted at summer, and told us to f*** off), that's all... went shopping with summer, and she took me to all the big brands... too pricey, cant afford... but we went for manicure, it's pretty cheap... but dun complain about quality la...

handing over was quick, the guy was not interested in my lecture, said that it's too complicated, and he wanted to study so that he can ask question, until now, no question, well, not my problem... i handover my job in 3 parts, each to a different person, the only common comment i get was "oh so much to do"... how come when i said that no one bothers? anyway, it's not my baby anymore, they can do as and how they like it...

cant log on to fb in the hotel, cant log on to blogger in the hotel... grrrr...

home sweet home

2009-10-03T15:31:00.002+08:00

arrived home at about 2 yesterday... and what did i do after??? i slept and slept...

woke up around 8 in the nite, went out for dinner, come home and then sleep somemore...

was supposed to wake up earlier this morning, and go have breaky before my facial, but i was still worn out, so i slept til 9, and hubby went out to pack breaky instead... he is so so so sweet these days...

so i went for my facial... and then went to my sister's to help her connect to the internet... she's got herself a nice looking notebook... not really value for money tho'... well, i need to get one of those myself, but heck i am out of cash... gotta wait before i can get one... but i'll need to return this soon, and if i don't get one sooner, i'll probably have problems adjusting...

looking forward to the relocation, but a little excited, worried, stressed, all at the same time... need to find a proper and decent place, not too far from work... at the same time, the place has got to be properly connected... man, this is hurting my head...

but i do not know if i report to kl or kamunting still... apparently they called and said that i should report to kl and then called again to ask when i am going to kamunting... confusing...

will be going for interview in leighton this wednesday, and i don't know what to expect, i'll take it more like going for a talk sort of thing, it's not really nice to quit a job before starting... it's so unprofessional (is there such a word?)...

will be going to beijing next friday and be back in the week after, and i guess i need to go to india for one last time... gosh, so much of travelling, i'm tired... right now, i think i'll go back to sleeping...

and "happy mid-autumn all"

2009-09-22T23:12:00.002+08:00

spend about 9 days or so in india and came back on saturday, in time for the holidays... can't say i did not enjoy... went for a pedicure and manicure... but it was a horrifying experience... this is not the 1st time i go to the nail parlour in aeon bukit tinggi, but this will be my last time... the pedicure was ok, as usual... but the manicure... gosh, that stupid woman just cut off a piece of my flesh... need i say more? ouch...

went around to look for place to do my tattoo... finally found a place that was quite decent and the guy seemed quite professional... so, i will be making an appointment to get it done...

had dinner with my sister and mom... and realise that emotions are very fragile, and so are relationships... for those who knew me from ages ago, i guess you guys know how much i trust men when it comes to responsibility and relationship... well, i would say that what i found out today reinforce the believe i have in my heart all this while...

been pretty depressed since dinner... felt kinda bad... and there are so many things to be sorted out... oh no... if this continue, i'll go mad!

2009-09-15T17:03:00.002+08:00

i just realise that life can be good if we work at home... well, in my case, work from the hotel... this is the 3rd day i am stranded in my hotel room... i arrived here saturday late nite almost 12... and sunday was like spent in the room, working a little here and there... and then yesterday, had discussion in the morning, up to around 3, and then came back to the room to start working by myself... and today, woke up at what? 5? 6? and started to work... i never thought i could be so hard working... working at 5 or 6 when there is no one to bother is i slept or worked???

i am in the midst of preparing for handing over... feels a little sad to leave, not the company but the people that i am working with... all nice people, but anyway, some of them has already left...

jan, basri, pathma, hwang, eric and jagdeep has already gone to different destinations, all for the better i hope... and huilin will be leaving end of the week as well, and i think she has got to be the one i am going to miss most... kevin will be going off by the end of the month, and myself, i am probably the last one to leave...

today, as i was listening to all the songs, well, and no one to physically disturb me, i kinda felt relaxed, eventhough the pressure is closing in... hope to feel like this more often... i think sometimes the bosses need to leave us alone to work peacefully, and then, we can be more productive as well...

to all my lafarge friends, farewell and all the best in your future undertakings... hope that all of us will have a more colourful journey as we attempt new route in life!

the road trip

2009-09-06T00:58:00.010+08:00

the journey started out by sending my beloved tiger to boarding... my poor baby... we came back and started packing for the trip, didn't know what to pack, the trip planned was like for 9 days or so, but we didn't want to pack for 9 days, we want to travel light... and then we went for dinner, and wanted to send my 2 tortoises to my mum's... called her, and she said she is not home, and will be spending the nite at my aunt's... so we decided to pack the 2 along...

after dinner, we played game online for a while, and decided that we should rest before starting out, and we decide that we should wake up at 3 early saturday morning, and at around 4a.m hubby called and said that we are late... so i jumped off the couch, and pack all the stuff into the car and started the journey... we pushed off around 4:20a.m and by 5, we are having sahur at mcd...

at 9 we arrived at kemaman and was drinking coffee at haiping... the ever so popular coffee place... we had coffee, nasi lemak, nasi dagang, fried mee siam, some kuih and what else? nothing else... coffee is great... but food was so-so only... and not to mention super costly... the nasi lemak was at rm2, but i can get it for rm1 in pj... and it tastes better... anyway, after that meal, we went to my sister-in-law's place to pick up some stuff to carry back to kt... had an "akok" while stopping by her house...

started to drive back to kt shortly after and arrived at around 12:20p.m which is like 8 hrs... upon arrival, like usual, they fed us as if we were fugitives... and then went straight to bed... we are not fugitives, more like piglets... slept til 5 or so, woke up and the 1st thing we thought about was dinner... had dinner is this place called, tecklai or something like that... we almost always go there when we go back to kt... it's like the best place to eat... and then we went home and sleep somemore...

the next day, i basically slept through the whole day, waking up occasionally to feed... during dinner, we went to the ming hotel and eat at the cafe... food was good, value for money too...

the next day, hubby drove me to the sekayu waterfalls... had a good time, tiring, but good... walked a little up hill and then dip my tired feet into the cold water... and did i mention i had a free fish spa? there were some tiny fisshes in the water and came to peck the feet the moment it's in water... after sekayu, we went to this other waterfall, belukar bukit... the journey there was quite nice, and we did not climb up the hill, we just played in the pool of water at the bottom of the hill... the water is so so so cooling and wow... the view is also spectacular...

sekayu waterfall...
this thing was near the wash room of sekayu, it's like 8 inches long...

the pool of very cold water at the bottom of the belukar bukit fall...

went home and then got ready for big dinner somemore... at ocean... nice nice nice... see, how not to get fat??? we practically ate the whole time we were there...

the next day, we started off around 8a.m to drive to penang... the journey was amazing... we went from kt to jerteh to machang to jeli to grik to kulim to penang... on the way, we saw some lakes, some hills, some "wild elephants crossing" signs, some "deer crossing" signs, but we never saw the elephants and deers... but the journey was worth while...

a nice view at the titiwangsa r&r...

arrived in penang at around 3:30, checked into the hotel rest for awhile, and went to gurney's drive for dinner... between me and hubby, we had 2 cha kueh tiaw, 1 assam laksa, 3 pcs of chee cheong fun, 1 serving of sotong gelek bakar and 2 see koe th'ng (that would mean 4 fruits soup)... the next day we drove around penang and still went back to gurney's drive for dinner... and again we had so much... ikan bakar, pasembur, assam laksa, tauhu hua, sugar cane drinks... we let the bif tortoise move around the hotel room, and he keeps moving and moving, it was so much fun seeing him trying to run away...

one of the views from penang...

my tortoise trying to go under the bed... cute huh?

the next morning we went to midlands something to have breaky, and we ate a lot too... i am so putting on weight... and the started to drive to cameron...

it started to drizzle as we were arriving, and my mood's set to purrfect... it was cold and wet and nice songs playing from the radio... woohoo... what else could i ask for? the 2 days in cameron was basically to relax... we played blackjack in the room, ate simple stuff from the pasar ramadhan, and just went to the market place to look and see... (the photos from cameron are not loaded yet... we didnt take many photos either, will post the pictures once i load it into the pc)

arrived home today... very tired still, went to collect tiger... and my poor baby... miss me so much... the trip was great... had fun, relax and what else? ate a lot a lot... and finish with zack as well... i didnt like the way it ended and i started to cry a little as well, but then i thought i wont let him die just like that, so i restarted... i'll be slower this time, make his character stronger... i made a mistake the last time, i'll do better this time...

just when i thought it's over...

2009-08-12T18:13:00.003+08:00

finally an update from india...

arrived in india on monday nite... almost midnite... caught the morning train and arrived in jamshedpur tuesday morning... and today is? wednesday? thursday? this is my 2nd day here and it already felt like forever and sometimes i wonder...

just when i thought i have made up my mind, just when i thought everything was settled... and then another wave will rise... and when will this end? i seriously cannot picture myself being here for a whole year... gosh, thinking of it is already so depressing...

a little update on my latest craze... was playing gt and then later chee leong introduced me to fw... and i think i have not updated on zack... a while ago, he changed his hairstyle... he has grown up, got a scar on his face... and longer hair... not that stunning anymore... and then there is cloud, a young soldier, not as naive as zack... but he is cute and boyish... not to mention blonde... he is responsible, and now injured... poor cloud... and then zack wanted to go back to see aerith... apparently she has 23 tiny wishes... and she has put it altogether into one, because zack will not be able to remember all 23, and her 1 big wish is "to spend more time with him"...

ok, zap out of it already, time to get back to work, else i may need to go sell flowers in the slum... and i guess i share her wish too...

india

2009-07-27T17:58:00.002+08:00

had a long and difficult journey, as usual... slept for about 2 hrs, and the phone rang, thankfully the phone rang, otherwise i would have overslept and missed the train...

arrived at the guest house, and gosh, it's terrifying... the place is filthy... i seriously do not know how i am going to survive this place...

i need to make up my mind once my boss comes back and right now, i don't know what to do... someone please help me... i am worried about staying in the guest house long term... gosh this is super tough...

2009-07-18T14:38:00.002+08:00

a typical saturday... the day began with me doing the laundry... chuck everything into the washer and press the start button... after that i opened up the box of my new washer, assemble a couple of things, and chuck all the under garments into it and press the start button... and then sat at the computer to play ghost trappers, my latest craze... and then, me and hubby went out for breaky...

came home, and hubby helped put the laundry out in the sun, while i listened to "written in the stars" and played some games... after that put somemore laundry into the washing machine... ya, i have that much of laundry to do in a week, one more load, which i will wait for tomorrow...

i sat and play somemore game while he slept of the couch... told me to wake him up in 10 mins, and then when i did, he said 5 more, so i let him sleep...

i started doing some x-stitches... he got up and get ready to do his business... anyway, i let him to do all the things on his own... he did not speak to me... and i continue to do my stitches and watch tv at the same time...

i am always amaze how many things i can do at the same time, i stitching, watching tv, and a whole lot of things went through my mind, at the same time formulating the words for this update... among the things that went through my mind is that i want to escape somewhere... i am tired of living... i am wondering what is going through my hubby's mind, is he angry with me or something? why is he ignoring me? what did i do wrong this time?

with all the things going on around home, around work, i am wearing out... i hate to go to the office, i want to stay at home to rest, but under normal circumstances i cannot get proper rest when i am at home either... i'll be stressed out with a totally different sort of thing... i'll be wondering if i played too much game online, spend too much time chatting, watch too much tv... but heck i wanna rest, these are the stuff that people do when they rest... but no, i cannot do all those as and when i like... i need to be accountable, i need to make sure that no one is offended with the things i do... i can get stupid sometimes... i was even thinking of running away from home... go somewhere, but i have no where to go... i feel like a stray...

i think i am finally ready to leave for india... maybe spending time away will be a good idea... at least i can get my thoughts together... i feel like crap lately... with all the things happening around me... i try to keep a positive attitude, but it's breaking me down... i wanted desperately to cry, but it comes a time where tears cannot wash away the pain... and i run out of tears supplies too...

he just left the house, and still not speaking to me...

meow meow meow

2009-07-10T17:33:00.002+08:00

in honor of the cutest cat i have ever known... you know who you are... continue being cute!!!

there is no place like home

2009-07-04T21:57:00.005+08:00

after some 8 or 9 days in india, i finally made it home safe and sound...

this trip in india was a little tiring... but i managed to go do some shopping in india... i had the saturday off... coming home took almost 24 hours... madness, i know...

upon reaching klia, i thought hubby was waiting for me, but he was not there... he was late... i waited for some 2o over minutes for him... normally, i am supposed to be angry and upset, but funny, i was not... waited for him, and he arrived... to my surprise... he brought flowers... blue roses... the 1st time he gave me blue roses was that valentine's in 2001... and this is the 2nd time? or was it 3rd? i think it was the 3rd... the 2nd time, i can't remember when...

come to think of it, turning 32 isn't that bad afterall, i had some one missing the date and gave me flowers in advance... hui lin and ai ling bought me dinner and we had shabu shabu... and then i went to india during my birthday, and the hotel gave me a cake... and soon, the project manager found out and the boys arranged for a tiny small cake... and then coming home, wow... blue roses...

yummy delicious shabu shabu...

nice cake from the hotel... too sweet tho'

the rum ball the boys arranged...

nice and beautiful blue roses... yes, i am grinning from ear to ear...

not getting any younger

2009-06-29T00:19:00.002+08:00

sitting here in my room in the sonnet, jamshedpur...

it's getting late, i am getting bored... it's raining outside, i am lazy, the room's cold, a perfect setting, except... i am kinda alone and well, no coffee... come to think of it, i have not had coffee today, that explains my sleepiness...

the meeting in kolkata did not go so well, on thursday it was shouting all the way, i shouted... on friday, i have no more energy to argue and shout, so i sent those guys off early... and went back to the hotel a little earlier... and if you think i get to escape work, think again... went to the hotel and continue working...

woke up at 9 on saturday, went for breaky, and then continue doing some work... it was raining a little, so i stayed in... around 12, the rain stopped, so went out to do some shopping... dunno where to go, so told the driver to take me to salt lake city again... that's the only place i know... so walked around in circles... bought some stuff... not a lot this time... bought a blouse for mom, a bag made from gunny sack for myself... and a pair of shuz... the shuz and bag are cheap... and after that had a scoop of gelato for lunch... called the driver and told him that i wanted to go to a bookstore, was supposed to look for some engineering books, but the driver sent me to this canggih bookstore, unfortunately for me, no engineering books... but the fiction collection is extensive... very very nice... i am not sure about the price, but i think it's cheaper than back home... needless to say, i was trying not to buy anymore books that i won't read, i settled for the stephen king's book... i'll go back and survey the price, if it is cheaper here, i'll get the entire "dark tower" collection... and then read and hide... i am almost sure i'll freak when i read... it'll be scary...

woke up at 4 on sunday morning, to catch the train to jamshedpur... the train ride was normal, except i was sitting next to this guy... and he didn't smell good... anyway, i slept a little, and played a little game... zack... i am so stuck at that point, can't win that battle... it's driving me nutz... reach the hotel, came online to chat, and then ordered lunch... after eating, did some work... and then chat somemore... fell asleep after awhile, and was disturbed twice... once with a call by the reception to tell me that they are returning my passport, another to tell me that my laundry is ready...

woke up, ordered dinner, ate, shower, wanted to chat, most people are already sleeping, it's late... i'm feeling kinda lonely and sad too... it's my birthday today, and i am in a strange land... with no family or friends around... i wish i am home... hmm... i saw a baskin robbins outlet just now, maybe i'll go buy myself some ice cream to celebrate with myself! well, happy birthday silly ol'one!

a good saturday morning

2009-06-20T12:56:00.002+08:00

woke up kinda early today, probably because i slept early last nite...

wanted to go for a swim but it started to rain, so me and hubby drove to the club to have breakfast... the place was nice and quite, did i mention it was raining? so the weather was purrfect... we sat there and had our breaky, and the rain was pouring, the wind blowing, but there was no music, so i played some music on the phone, and there, i have a purrfect setting... coffee was served, and we just sat there and relaxed...

after 3 cups of coffee, we went to the reading room, read part of some book, it was quiet and relaxing, and i thought to myself, i could live like that... enjoy early morning coffee, and then some reading... i promise myself, i'll do this more often, i just hope i get this type of weather more often... rain in the morning...

a nice surprise

2009-06-19T22:06:00.002+08:00

wat a nice surprise... sometime last week, i got a call from the receptionist saying that there was a delivery for me, and i went "ha? wat is that?" and she just said "u come la, someone sent some nice flowers"... dumbfounded...

anyway, they made a mistake with the date, and the flowers arrived, well, a couple of weeks ahead of my birthday... wat a joke! well, it was a nice one, tho'... a nice sunflower, can brighten my day anytime...

today i was just going through my e-mails, and i stumble across a mail, with a recorded conversation as an attachment... some radio station in hong kong... you know, those programmes where you can call in and talk? well, this girl called and talk about stuff, and the 2 dee jays... they sounded so nice, and one of them, i have no idea who he is, he sounded so nice... i know i would be a fan if i know how to tune into his programme... this girl, wasted her life, and she is still bragging about it, and this guy, got so upset and scolded her, on air! i appreciate his concern, i appreciate the fact that he actually cared enough for a stranger to rebuke her... well, i must try to find out who he is... and his voice... boy, it was mesmerising...

a salted egg yolk

2009-06-12T22:14:00.002+08:00

the sun looks like a salted egg yolk every morning... all thanks to the haze... although the sun looks pretty with the haze, but i don't really enjoy it... the environment seemed a little stuffy, and gloomy...

another weekend of nothing special...

2009-06-06T17:55:00.002+08:00

woke up at 8 this morning... i have no idea why i woke up so early... came downstairs, played the guitar for awhile... not good at it anymore... went for breakfast, and then off to tesco for marketing... came back, so bored dunno what to do...

came back, don't know how to kill time, so bored so bored... i think i am going nutz... and i missed someone a lot a lot...

my weekend

2009-05-31T20:27:00.002+08:00

weekends are too short... why do we need to work 5 days a week? why not make it 4?

slept through saturday... went for breakfast and then tesco for some marketing... in the afternoon, thot we wanted to go baskin robbins for ice cream... but we ended up in jusco and had japanese food for lunch instead... and then we head on to jusco for more marketing... saturday's dinner was popiah and tong yuen...

made sandwich for sunday's breaky... went to church and the lunch with peter... dinner was supposed to be steamboat in my aunty's place, but i got angry with i dunno what, ended up dinner in burger king...

came back and took my hula hoop... and started to play with it... boy, can't do more than 60 at any one time... i remembered hula hooping with budak kecik and notty back when we were still staying together... we could go on and on without stopping... and today i can only do 60? i am determined to achieve what i did before... i think with some practice i will succeed... but this bring back memories... i miss my dear budak kecik and notty so much... although pontian and zelan wasn't exactly my favourite project and town... but you 2 are definitely my favourite colleagues and housemates!!! girls, when do u think we can hang out together again? do some cooking? chat? coffee?

depression mode

2009-05-24T14:48:00.002+08:00

sigh... something's not right somewhere... these few weeks, the mood swing is getting bad... some times i will feel like i'm on the top of the world and sometimes i will be in the worst of my nightmares...

and there is a stupid feeling inside of me... as if i need to do something... i know what i need to do, but no one is willing to discuss with me... i need to plan something... but no one is willing to listen... i wanted to plan my funeral, whether i should be buried or cremated... but everytime i bring the topic up, people around me is telling me to shut up and stop talking nonsense... i realised that not many people plan this in advance, and that is why usually the deceased family members have to do all these in hurry... often letting companies that run businesses like this profit big time... i think everyone should have a say whether they prefer cremation or burial... where they want to do it... the financial impact of it all, so that enough money is set aside for this, and that family members whose already so devastated need not worry about this anymore... but why? why? why would no one listen to me?

everyone dies sooner or later, and this is something no one can avoid... so what is the problem of talking about it? discussing it? and plans ahead so that the process is less shocking? if there are things that needed to be done, words to be said, at least someone is there to pass the message to the people you leave behind, but no one is willing to do this in advance...

today, back in 2003, i lost my father... it was a sudden... no one understood why... i went to the grave earlier today, cleaned it up a little... i remembered my father was a man who likes it clean... he would wake up at 5 every morning, to sweep and mop the floor... it has been over 3 years since i last went to his grave... i always managed to find an excuse why not to go... i will be broken everytime i go, i am trying to hide, but i know i have to face it... has been 6 years, but it seemed like yesterday... i asked myself the same question today, but i will never know the answer... "have you forgiven me?"... i don't deserve to be forgiven... but i still seek to know... i have to wait... until i see you again...

i saw by the side of his grave was an empty lot, maybe i should go buy that lot, maybe i can be buried there... with my parents... my mom's lot has also been reserved for her by his side... so, just maybe i will go and reserve that lot next to his, for myself... but... i have not decided if i want to be cremated... i was reading up on wiki yesterday, cremation may be more environmental friendly... and since i am a tree hugger... maybe i would prefer the environmental friendly way... but i cannot make up my mind, i cannot decide... no one would discuss with me... if you are my friend, give me some feedback...

a dinner with the relatives

2009-05-23T23:03:00.002+08:00

my mom has a cousin who has left to stay in canada many many years ago... he came back to throw a dinner because his daughter got married... the last time i met this uncle of mine was around 16 years ago...

my uncle is still very handsome as i remembered him to be... i remembered as a little girl, he used to take me out and buy stuff for me... and suddenly i realised that i missed him so much... at the end of the dinner, he came over and hugged me, i must say that it felt good... i never knew it can feel so good to hug someone you love... i am not the kind of person who hug others... i don't even hug my own mother... being brought up in a "traditional" chinese family, hugging is not very much a common practice...

photos...

2009-05-17T20:46:00.006+08:00

i realised that i talk a lot... so here are some photos i've taken along my walk...

these are the usual flowers i get on the desk of oberoi... sometimes red sometimes yellow...

one of those views i get on the plane... this one was taken on my way to delhi... beautiful... God is such an artist...

the quiet train station... the one where i waited for many hours and yet still missed it...

the empty land along the journey from jamshedpur to kolkata...

the nice views behind batu caves... never imagined such a nice place around KL...

the arrival terminal at jamshedpur... hahaha... only a white board!

my 1st kite... today hubby bought me a kite and we went to fly a kite... and i was singing "let's go fly a kite..." the mary poppins' song...

home sweet home

2009-05-16T20:26:00.003+08:00

finally got home after a long long journey...

the train from jamshedpur was late... so the four of us stood at the train station and waited for more than 1.5 hrs... it was hot but not dry... so we were sweating away... while we were waiting, so many people came to beg for money... we just stood there, ignoring them, not an easy task... some of the kids looked so pitiful... and the project manager said "and some people question the credibility of slumdog millionaire"... pathma gave away some money, i think he cannot stand the looked on the kids' faces... as for me, i guess i was cruel... i just stood there and ignored them...

when the train finally arrived, we were struggling to get on it... and the project manager was the 1st to get on the train, and i was behind him... and like the usual, some people cut in front of me... and the project manager... he is so nice and sweet... he got on the train, took his baggage up, turned back and grab mine... and of course the couple who cut in between us did not let me go in front of them, so the poor PM has to handle 2 luggages in the train... and mine isn't exactly small and light... frankly, no one in the office was that nice to me before... reaching where we were supposed to sit, he took the luggages and put it on the overhead racks... and upon arrival, he took it down for me as well... and then getting off from the train, he got down and then took all the luggages down... he is so sweet...

well, i've travelled with some PMs and some of the other guys in the office before... some are nice, some not so nice... thierry was a quite a good companion, i remembered i went to tanjung bin once with him, and then he drove from the airport to ptp, and we were supposed to get the gate passes at the port authority... so we all went to take the passes... on the way back, we were supposed to get our id cards back, and he said, you just wait in the car, i'll do it, so he took our passes, jumped down and came back with all our ids...

richard was a normal companion, he takes care of himself... nothing special about travelling with him, except he takes way too many cigarette breaks... ashwani... was an "ok" travel companion, except he doesn't like to pick up the bills... everything is claimable, but he will make sure he make someone else pay for it and claims... nick was a good travel companion, not that i travelled much with him, but he was caring... i remembered once i went to aceh with him, but i was supposed to leave earlier than him, so before i leave for the airport, i went to see him to give him the slips to claim the airport tax... he paid the taxes for me earlier that morning, so i gave the slips to him so that he can claim... and then he asked "do you have money to go back? do you need some cash?"... i was like, eh, no one asked me that in a long time... deepak, well, when i travelled with him, he ignored me while we were in the airport, but since we took the same taxi to the plant, he made me work in the taxi! not exactly a good candidate to travel with... but bidyut... aww, so sweet and nice and caring and thoughtful...

some people in the office are very nice to work with, some not so... among those i like to deal with are ong, thierry, nick, bidyut, huilin, faridah and that is about it... others are ok, some not so nice... but in general the team works quite well together... also one of the reasons why i felt so sad about the shifting of office to beijing...

on the last day of the kooc seminar, they gave out these pens to the people who have presented... so they gave a me a set as a token of appreciation... i took it, and then a fellow colleague told me that i should share it with him, i said "you can have it all" and i gave the whole box to him... and he said no, he only wants to share... i said no, i will not share, if he wants it, he has to take it all... so he did not take it... the next morning, he sent an sms saying that i still owe him half my gift... i ignored his sms, but when i went to the office, i gave him the whole box, still wrapped and unopened, and told him the same thing... and we had a good debate about sharing and not sharing... so i said, whatever i gave out i won't take back, do whatever you want with it... and left the box on the table... i just don't understand some people, what is in the box than he wants so badly? and if he wants it so badly, why want to pretend to be shy and only wants half... well, of course i know why he wants half... some unspeakable reason... some reason so absurd...

and i wonder to myself when i was on the train... i think we as humans just like to covet what belongs to others... the grass is always greener on the other side... therefore, other people's husband is always better than our own, other's wife is always sweeter and nicer than our own... other's job is better, other people have a better life, a better way of living, a better family background, everything that is not ours is always better... sigh... when do we learn that we should be happy with what we have?

kooc seminar

2009-05-15T02:18:00.003+08:00

today is the last day of the 3-day kooc program... yes, it's kooc and not cook... it was not a spelling error... kooc stands for kick-off operational coaching... at the end of the session, i still have no idea what the whole program is about...

so a little update of what happened in the last few days... i left for india on sunday evening, with the whole group... i thought there was only 5 of us, but then we ran into the atc team as well, but they were heading elsewhere tho', only the same flight... on the way to bangkok, the flight was good... food was ok, and i watched hotel for dogs... didn't finish since the flight was too short... was hoping that the flight from bangkok to kolkata had that, but unfortunately no... i was wondering if i will ever be rich enough to run a hotel like that...

the train ride from kolkata was the same as before... except i was sitting next to the PM... which makes it a little uncomfortable... but the PM is a nice guy... i was romancing with zack on the way... and the PM was nicely sleeping away... cloud has made his entrance to the show... we'll he is pretty cute too, just not as cute as zack... well, cloud looks a little boyish... while zack... amazing smile... and he never seem to loose his smile... i so wish he is real... but i did meet a real person with an amazing smile too, i'll get to that later...

upon arrival at the tata train station, there was a huge human traffic jam... i was struggling to get my luggage across, and then after sometime, i saw the PM making his way up back towards me, although he was already far ahead, and i thought he left something behind or something... he came to me, and then, pick my luggage up and told me "let me help you, it's a bit difficult to get through in this condition"... awww... so sweet of him...

so, the objective of my mission was to attend the kooc, and it was a 3-day program starting from tuesday through thursday... i met the team i will be working with, all men... some of which are quite annoying, some quite young and good looking too... but all of them are well, indians... i dunno if i can ever stand working with them... but that is not my point... the guy who was training us, man... i've never seen a real person with such a beautiful smile... i mean, he is not good looking or anything, but the smile... gosh... can kill...

now that the seminar is over, i am glad, but i have no idea what i gathered... anyway, tomorrow is another day, half a day of meetings and the off i go home... but i will be spending many many many hours in transit... i only get to reach home on saturday afternoon...

i want to thank those people that made my stay here more pleasant... all those smses that came my way helped me pass from day to day... although not all are pleasant news... i really really love all of you guys, all my dearest friends... i dunno where i'll be without all of you... love you all a lot!

happy mother's day

2009-05-10T23:21:00.002+08:00

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY... I LOVE U MOM

taipan usj...

2009-05-09T17:51:00.002+08:00

budak kecik paid me a visit today... so sweet of her... she is such a darling... she took the comuter to subang, and we picked her up and headed to leo's... initially we wanted to go the leo's in ss2, but took a wrong turn, so we ended up in the leo's in taipan, usj... why leo's... well, we've been craving for the encholata for a long time, and since the leo's in bukit tinggi closed, i have not had one for over a year...

anyway, being in taipan does bring back some memories... this is only the 2nd time i am there, the 1st time was when i was what? 19? i think this guy chee yong, took me there, he stayed in one of those apartments when he was working here...

chee yong was a guy i knew when i was like 16 or 17... i knew him when i was working in ocean... and he was like 8 years older than i was... we went out for dates several times, and when he told me to be his girlfriend, i told him that i needed to study 1st... he took the rejection very well, and respected my decision... but of course, he waited for me to finish my SPM and then asked again... i told him the same answer, and then he waited for me to finish my STPM and he asked again, and i told him the same answer... we remained friends all those years... he never pushed his luck... he was a nice guy...

the day that he took me to his apartment, i told him that i was going to sabah for my uni, and he was depressed... and he said that he will wait for me to finish my degree... i told him, that if he waited that long, i would date him when i complete my degree... eh, i was touched by his perseverance... so many times i told him that i needed to study, so many times he waited... but at the same time i regretted telling him that i would date him... while i was in the uni, he will still send me cards, and letters... most of which i replied... i like this guy, he is a darling... and then i started dating ernest, and i told him that... i think somewhere along those lines, we stopped communicating, and i was ok with it... since i didn't really want him to wait... if he did, i would need to date him, a promise is a promise...

today, going back to taipan, suddenly brings back memories of him... i wonder, how he is... what is he doing right now? where is he? well, i hope that everything is fine with you... i missed you and i am so sorry that i misled you so many times over... you are a great guy and i am really blessed to have known you...

no more in the middle

2009-05-04T22:11:00.002+08:00

thanks to all of you who showed concern... max, jaxe, huilin, andrew, ailing, siggle, and self-restrained... i am not dying as yet, but sometimes, wish that i can speed up the process...

so i spoke to my boss about the vss, and i told him that i will take the vss now and not go to india... and then i proposed that i will go if he gives me a different contract... and then like usual, he tries to brainwash me... but in the end, he said he will let me know in 2 weeks time what his decision is...

so, i am prepared to loose my job. and i don't care... i am not bothered and i don't want to think anymore... so i am leaving it to god... and i trust that he will provide...

caught in the middle (part 2)

2009-05-03T20:27:00.003+08:00

with the vss going around, and all my boss has got to offer me, i am caught in the middle again... many people had many opinion... but the one opinion i needed the most from the person that mattered the most, has not come...

there are people who told me to take vss, get hold of the money, and then trust god with the rest... there are people who calculated the odds and told me to take the offer to go to india and then after the completion of the project, it will be easier to get another job, and the situation will be better...

i have had plenty chat sessions with many people about this, and the best one was with max... i was chatting with him, and he calculated the odds... and then he said, afterall only one year in india, it can't be that bad... one year is a very short time, given the way i work, i won't even realise that the time has gone... and i said... i may die within the one year too rite?

he reprimanded me for saying such things... like usual, the sweet and nice max... he cared... and then i asked, would you cry if i die? he said he will be very sad... but he is not sure if he would cry... and then i asked him, would you miss me? he said, "i don't want anything bad to happen to you"...

and then i put the question as my personal message on msn... jaxe was really concerned, the moment he came online, he said "jiejie don't die"... it's funny, for a guy who never met me... for a guy who don't even know if i am really real... could care... and people who know me personally, are not even bothered...

caught in the middle

2009-04-28T20:53:00.002+08:00

have you ever had the feeling that you know right from wrong, but you wanted to so badly do the wrong? i guess at one time or another each of us has been through that phase of life... our moral values teaches us the right from the wrong, and yet, the inner us, wanted the wrong instead of the right...

just recently, there has been news about VSS in the office... most of us, the local staff are all affected... the office will be shifted to beijing, and since i know this from quite long ago, i cannot say that i did not see this coming... i guess i was already mentally prepared, and i take this news quite well... but at the same time i have my commitments and i need to pay bills... i am torn between my needs and my wants... i wanted so badly to take a break, i keep telling everyone that if i loose my job, i can finally take the well deserved break... but on the other hand, i needed the job to keep going... who's going to pay my bills? who's going to pay the housing loan? the car loan? man, i owe the bank over half a million, and if i loose my job, how on earth am i going to settle the debts?

i am trying to stay focus in all this mess, but i think i am loosing it... as i speak more with my colleagues, and as i think more and more about it, i may not be so focus afterall... again, i have the comfort that God will provide for all my needs... what about my wants? i guess i should not be greedy... i should be happy if my needs are provided for...

just aim to do the right, and let go of the wrongs... things will be better soon, there will be light at the end of the tunnel... when you are this low in the pit, things can only get better... focus on the right, and let go of the wrong... focus... focus... stay focus... caught in the middle still...

watermelon watermelon

2009-04-26T22:04:00.002+08:00

after dinner, me and hubby had watermelon for dessert...

it has been sometime since i consumed watermelon in this manner... cut into halves, and the dig into it with a spoon... eating the melon this way brings back sweet memories from the past... me and hubby were still dating, and we were staying in mersing, for the army camp project... we used to eat watermelons this way... and it was fun i supposed... sometimes we would only eat watermelon for dinner... those were the days when we were still young, some 8 years ago...

as we grew, we stop doing stupid stuff... like driving to nowhere... like playing games on tv til morning... stupid stuff that we enjoyed doing... we became obsessed with work, with earning, with providing, with many other stuff and we forgot what we like, we forgot what made us laugh...

i must say that i miss those days, those days that we didn't have money to buy expensive stuff (not that we had a lot now)... those days we would be calculating our salaries, and we would try to budget out everything... but those days, we're more carefree... more relax, not chasing after some false comfort... those were the days, that we argued about stupid stuff and made up soon after... those were the days...

the kid in me

2009-04-25T15:42:00.002+08:00

just the other day in delhi, the supplier gave us all a souvenir... i got this nice looking ladies watch, by Titan... the watch is classy and all... but it's not my type...

on thursday, hubby and i went to starhill and pavillion... we were passing by some shops selling some hairclips, they are gorgeous... and not to mention expensive too... hubby asked, wanna buy? i said, too lady like for me... the promoter just stared at me in disgust...

i guess i am just not that kind of girl... when i see a nice LV or Prada, i just see... well, maybe because i cannot afford it, so i don't seemed interested, but then again, it's just not my type... i would rather wear a swatch over some branded time pieces like cartier... i'd choose reebok over some expensive shoes like LV... i'd choose to play my psp over reading some fashion magazines...

i supposed i am still a kid afterall... and when will i grow up?

can't wait to go home

2009-04-22T12:41:00.002+08:00

today will be my final day in india, after about 10 days... can't wait to go home... and like usual, on the last day of missions like this, there is no more mood whatsoever to work... my heart has already flown home...

my mission in delhi is almost completed, one more final document to review, and i am done...

i was having breakfast at the hotel this morning, and i realised that some of the people working there are very good looking... one guy in particular, jacob, he looks like a malaysian chinese, but pathma told that he is most probably from himachal... the northern part of india, where it's cold and nice... and people are all good looking... we used to have a project in study phase in himachal, thierry was the project manager, but i guess the project was shelved due to the economy conditions... well, hope that projects somehow move and kick off, so that i can at least have a chance to visit that place and see for myself, if all the people are really good looking...

this guy named zack...

2009-04-21T12:45:00.003+08:00

on my way from kolkata to delhi on sunday, i met this guy name zack fair on the flight... he is a soldier... and, he is so so so good looking... almost unreal... flawless, and his features... out of this world... i think i am in love... how can anyone be so perfect? he has this cheerful attitude, but sometimes a little over-confident... his eyes, dazzling, his smile, oh, what's the word? captivating... his hair, soft... i told you, he was unreal...

well, he is unreal indeed, zack, is a character in this new game i started to play, the game is not new, but i am new at playing it... final fantasy, crisis core... like all other heros in the final fantasy series, he is gorgeous... well, it would look like the game is similar to all other FF games... similarly additive... i don't understand myself, these games are basically fighting monsters and they are so similar, and yet, game after game, i am addicted to it... i spent so many hours playing the game last nite, and now i am so sleepy...

can't wait to go back to the hotel and play this game again... my new found love zack fair...

jamshedpur...

2009-04-18T19:33:00.002+08:00

among all the places that i have been in india, i must say that this is one of the best towns i am in... this place has nothing... i am happy...

today was a bad day... started off bad, and it didn't get any better from there... the car came late, and then they messed up the schedule, i wasted more than 4 hrs working on it... the guy who was supposed to come see me and discuss the schedule was late, and made stupid comments, i got angry, i raised my voice... then i felt bad and apologised... and then after correcting the schedule, i emailed it along with some not so nice words... felt bad about it... and then sms a fellow colleague to warn him about it, but his response was "please do not sms me again"... not exactly the kind of sms that i would appreciate after working like an idiot for many hours, rectifying some silly mistakes they made...

i guess i was just being silly, no one takes what i did seriously, they all think that it's all paper work... the schedule is not something people like to see, not something people like to do, and why would they bother to do a good job, why do i bother to put in extra hours in it? i am working on a non-working day, trying hard to please everyone because i know they need to make the report, so that their bosses don't breathe down their neck, but who am i kidding? no one appreciates what i did, so why bother? so i packed up, left the plant and here i am back at the hotel, doing nothing... except updating this silly blog...

i don't know why, i don't know how i landed myself in this big mess... why am i always making wrong choices? i guess i am not that bright... i am just the silly ol' me... from now on, it's no more unofficial hours... i work from 8-5, and that's it... others can wait... i have a life too, and i am not married to my job, i officially file a divorce with my job, only 39 hours a week, no more no less...

who am i kidding? how do i do that? all it takes is for one small plea from anyone to ask me to help, it's urgent, and i'll be selling my soul again... why am i like that?

kolkata the next day

2009-04-18T09:42:00.001+08:00

Currently sitting in the “top deck” restaurant in Kolkata’s airport, the restaurant is not bad… just ate a chicken burger, not that nice…

So the adventure of chasing a train was fun… but I was exhausted after that… can’t wake up this morning, I was supposed to leave the plant at 7:30, I woke up at 7:25… talking about express getting ready…

By the time I got out of the room, the driver has already returned with a fellow colleague with my e-ticket for the flight… I really feel bad that these people have to stay up in the night just because I missed my train… and they have to wake up so early to go to the office to print out my ticket… I guess I appreciate what they have done…

I slept most of the time on the way to Raipur’s airport… at the times when I was awake, I thought to myself, I could learn to like this place… the people aren’t that bad… only a few people have funny working attitudes, but in general, the people aren’t that bad at all…

The day before, I was chatting with a fellow colleague, and he asked if the other project manager is easy to work with… and I went “well, he is nice for an Indian…” and then I realized that I was talking to an Indian and my remarks were too racist… I guess I was always racist, and it’s bad, I should change… and he said “so you mean I am not nice?” searching for words quickly in my mind, I said, “no, his working style is a little different from the general Indian…” And again, I am being too racist here… and he said “oh, so he is different from me?” I looked at him and he said “I am jealous”… immediately I laughed…

Just last week, a fellow colleague from Indonesia told me the same line “I am jealous” but of course in a different context altogether… this colleague from Indonesia was jealous because I am too defensive of my colleague in India, and now the same guy is jealous because of some statement I made…

Men, in general are too hard to please… again, I am stereotyping the gender, but I can’t help it… men are hard to please, they only want to hear all the nice things about them, and they don’t want to hear if you said something that they don’t agree with…

So, they said that we the “weaker” gender does nothing but gossip… and we often talk about a 3rd party… I think that is being unfair… do we really only gossip and does nothing else? I don’t think it’s true, I sometimes engage myself in serious discussion about stuff, and I try to reflect on things and try to make myself a better person… I am sure all my sisters out there would agree with me, sometimes we too talk about politics, we talk about work, we talk about education, religion, music and many other things… and I don’t see all that as gossiping…

As I am typing, I am reflecting, on what to write, on what to say… I have a lot on my mind, but sentences are not forming… I guess I am still going through the depression stage; my mood swings are more evident than before… I don’t know what I want to do with my life, I don’t have any directions, and I don’t have motivations… maybe I am just tired… if I have unlimited supply of resources, I would stop working, and indulge myself in things that makes me smile… like keeping a dozen dogs, run a farm, listen to all my favourite songs without interference, drink coffee, play the guitar, spend some more time online to chat with people… or is this the withdrawal syndrome? I have not been spending so much time online lately… I missed chatting with tom, jaxe, don, benex and many others, people whom I never met, but are so sweet and nice… and most of all, I missed all the games I left behind, my character must have been so deserted and attacked a million times over, those character that I used to hit on, would have gained enough power to send my character to the bottom of the pits…

I was supposed to do some work, but I am lazy, too lazy to do things… I guess I better stop writing right now, otherwise, no one would bother to read…

i missed the train...

2009-04-18T09:39:00.002+08:00

"are the the trains usually on time?" i asked a fellow colleague, "the trains are usually 30 mins late"...

so i left the plant at around 10 p.m., and the journey to the train station was approx. 1hr... so i arrived at the station at around 11 p.m. my train was schedule for 11:55 p.m. so i sat and wait for the train...they have told the driver to wait assist me to get on the train, so the driver waited with me... the train station was quiet, only a few souls waiting to hop on the train... as i sat there, i was being feasted on by a huge bunch of mosquitoes... the station was quiet, besides the music from my new mobile, xpressmusic 5800, occasionally some trains will pass, other than that, only 2 young men, chattering about who knows what... i started counting how many wagons each train has, some has 60 or so, and one locomotive that passed actually pulled some 20ft containers, and there were 90 of them, imagine how long that train is...

i was tired, and hot, and sweaty and also itchy too, thanks to the quitoes... sure enough the train was not on time, it came 1 day late... well, actually only 45 minutes late... so the driver told me to get ready... which i did, and then, we were trying to locate the coach i am supposed to get on... man, the coach was right behind, so he started to run, and i started to run... and then the train started to move, and we panic... as i was running, i pass by those so called sleeper class, and man, they are like sardines... really like those pictures i saw on the internet... it's scary... anyway, we ran and ran, and i never felt this tired before, not even after climbing 23 storeys those days back in kk... this is madness, at one point, i thot i would faint... those trains are long... when i finally saw my coach, they wouldn't let me get on, i wouldn't want to get on either, the train is moving, and to hop on like that could be disasterous (however you spell that word)...

so we drove back to the plant... and i was laughing about the whole incident... in fact, i am still laughing at it right now... i realised that i have changed... if it were to happen a few weeks before, i would be cursing, i hate change of plans... i would loose one day, it would mean that i may not be able to finish my work in jojobera on time... which may lead to extension of stays... but today, somehow, i can laugh about the whole thing... i guess, whatever happened in the pass 3-4 weeks has made and impact to my life... the fact that a loved one shatters my heart, a friend deciding that he doesn't want to be friends anymore, and the passing of a relative... all happening at the same time... i must say i was pretty much depressed, but i thank god for friends, for sisters who listened to me... who encourages me... i guess all those things that happened taught me a lesson in life... that life is always unpredictable... why must i be such a particular person? why must i be so demanding? what good does it make to anyone if i annoy them? i started to loose focus on my work, i started to talk to old friends... those emails from ernest certainly brought back some sweet memories, and the msn chats with andrew, oh they were hilarious, and max, how can i thank you more for always being there for me... i guess i regain the playful me... the one that is more carefree... the one who don't worry about what happens tomorrow... i start to tease people around me, make them feel good about themselves, flirt... this is me, this was the original me, i was like that, what made me change? circumstances? kiasu-ism?

i don't know if reverting to my old self is a good sign or not, but i think i am enjoying it more... i find being the old me more fun, less responsible, less accountable, less stress... i think i am going to dig a hole to bury the me trying so hard to be mature, to think right, to please people, to gain acceptance... i will let the old me, the child in me to live and take control... i think this way, my life would be easier...

on the way to india...

2009-04-18T09:36:00.000+08:00

Sitting in the plane on the way to India… oh I don’t understand why I dislike to go to this place so much…

Watched Marley & Me just now, it’s a really good show, watch it if you have a chance, I know I’d watch it again… I don’t know if I liked the dog better or Owen Wilson better… there is something about Owen Wilson… I mean he is not the best looking actor around, but there is something about him… He is so cute… and sweet, or was it the character that he plays?

Anyway, when he got Marley, and the 1st nite they spent together, it sort of takes me back to the 1st nite I had Tiger… Tiger was crying the whole nite, poor thing, he must’ve missed his mummy, and he won’t let me sleep either… he will nibble on my finger, try to find his way up to my bed, nibble my ears… sleep on my hair… oh, those sleepless nites… but I would not trade it for anything in the world… I remembered the 1st time I laid my eyes on him… those sad puppy’s eyes… scared and all… only a few weeks old I supposed… I was in my room like usual, and Ian knocked on my door, and said, can you please come down? Uncle Andrew is looking for you… I was like? Why would Andrew look for me… I went down anyway, and Andrew told me that his friend just gave him a puppy, and the center cannot take care of that little guy because he is still too young, and the big boys in the center just don’t have the means to take care of a little pup… I hesitated… but those eyes… I cannot help but take him into my arms… and Andrew just ran away… he said, just try to take care of it, once he gets bigger and more independent, you can always give it back… I wasn’t prepared to take another pup… I was still so heartbroken from the lost of Coffee…

Coffee died earlier that year, 1st Jan 2008… I remember that dreadful day, I cried and cried and cried, but there is nothing I can do to bring him back… I hated myself for not staying up with him in the nite, I had to go to sleep… in the morning, when my mom knocked at the door, I knew in advance what the news was all about… oh my darling Coffee, you will forever be missed… even as I am typing this, I missed you, and I really hope to see you again… but I don’t know, do dogs really go to heaven? I really wanted to believe that because I really want to hold you again… there are so many things I wanted to do with you… like going to the beach again… remembered when you were younger, and we were still in Mersing, took you to the beach, and you had so much fun running about… and drinking all those salty sea water, and what happened to you after that? You fell sick… and that time where you almost died, when that truck couldn’t brake on time? You were one lucky dog weren’t you? I don’t know how you survived that… but I am happy that you did…

I had many dogs in my life, each special in their own way… each having a special place in my heart, each left me crying over and over… even until today, the thoughts of all of you make me happy and sad all at the same time… the 1st dog I had was brought home by my father, I was 6 back then… one smart puppy, he died when I was 11… I cried and cried and cried… and then I never wanted to bond with another dog, I was afraid that I would be heartbroken again… and then when I was 16, I had Lady… the most beautiful and elegant dog I ever had… she had class… and if you think all bitches are the same, think again… she won’t just let any dog do her… she’s got taste and I remembered that huge black Doberman who used to come during the mating season… oh, Lady would tease him like anything… and he would be so restless… Lady died a heartbroken dog… oh, I would never forgive that woman who did that to her… and then after that I had Coffee… Coffee was the 1st dog I had after I met my husband, Coffee will always have that special place in my heart… and of course, not forgetting Ginger, the most loyal, tough, fierce, and gentle all put together… I gave Ginger to a neighbour, I had no choice, he kept fighting with Coffee, but Ginger came back… after the neigbour shifted away, he came back… from where I don’t know… but he came back to me… he must’ve travelled some distance… I am so sorry what I put you through… and those other dogs I had when I was in Mersing, those were madness… muffin, coco, candy… ahhh… those were the happy days…

Now I only have Tiger, and Tiger is my baby… he has grown so much, but he always forgets that he is too big for my lap… he will still climb on my lap, he must have missed those days where he was only palm sized… and I would spend hours playing with him… I missed those days too… how he would bite my hands… leaving long scars… but Tiger dear Tiger, you will always be my baby… and if I have a child in the future, you will be the big brother… I hope you will not leave me too soon, I really want to have you for many many more years to come… I don’t know if my heart can take anymore heartaches…

india

2009-04-11T14:23:00.002+08:00

as much as i dreaded it, i cannot escape from it... my fears, my weaknesses, are all going to be tested all at the same time...

i am going to india again tomorrow evening, this time for another 10 days or so... to my relieve i am not staying at only one place, i need to move from place to place, and i hope that time will be easier to past and i don't have to spend time dwelling on the unthinkable...

tomorrow is easter, the day where the Lord conquered the grave that we might have life... it's a day of joy, a day where the devil is defeated, a day where victory is on our side... because of this day, 2000 years ago, victory is always on our side... the devil is always whispering to our ears, to defeat us, and most of the times, our weak body gives in to the devil, because it is so much easier to fall prey, than to fight back... but God is faithful, He cares, He reminds me that He has not forsaken me, and that whatever trouble I am facing right now, He knows, and He is allowing it to happen to mould me, to make me stronger, to make me wiser... but i really have no more energy to fight, no more energy to go on... i feel so defeated, so hopeless, so weak... and i am reminded that i do not need to have energy, for i should walk by faith, not by sight, for the Lord God is on my side, who can be against me? the Father has promised that no weapons formed against me shall prosper, so why should i feel the way i am feeling? why should i worry for tomorrow?

life is fragile

2009-04-04T15:35:00.002+08:00

i am often reminded of this statement by a friend... he is haunted by the loosing of a dear friend... i finally understood what that statement meant...

life is indeed short and fragile, you will never know when someone you love will decide to leave you...

to a brother, a friend, you will be deeply missed... i am so sorry i did not go to the wake, i do not know how to react... often we said, for someone so sick, it's for the better that you don't have to suffer anymore, but how many people actually know, how deeply saddened we will be? and to learn that you went alone is unbearable... no one to be by your side at the last moments? how much more depressing can it be? for 15 years you suffered, for 15 years you fought, maybe it's time that you rest, rest in peace my brother...

a sunflower garden

2009-03-29T14:33:00.002+08:00

as i was leaving from the site to raipur's airport, i passed by a sunflower garden... it was the beautiful, given the fact that i love sunflowers... the flowers were blooming, and it reminded me how wonderful life is...

today i was in church, and i realised how wonderful my life is too... as i was about to give up hope, as i was in the deepest, darkest valley, God reminded me again and again that my life is good, and i can use it for many good stuff, and yet i choose to go the wrong way, i choose to waste my life and i choose to be miserable...

i was determined to save my relationship, but i am shut off. i was determined to do a better job, but instead, i was faced with more and more challenges... i am beaten, drained, and bitter... and for all this, what did i learnt? well, i learnt that life is tough, and we often make wrong decisions, wrong choices but there is one thing that never fail to exists... God...

God, Lord Almighty, look into my heart, take away the pain, take away the bitterness, please help me, i know i cannot help myself, but i know you can and will help me. please help me through this phase of my life, i no longer have the energy to fight and i no longer want to fight. help me. Amen!

new job, new assignment, new location

2009-03-09T12:07:00.002+08:00

the indonesian project is no longer my project. at the end of last year, my boss told me that i should be involved in the new upcoming indian project. that i should be relocated to jamshedpur, india... well, i made my 1st visit to jamshedpur last week and i must say that i was a little worried, excited, etc about the visit...

my 1st impression of jamshedpur was ok... small town, less human, less traffic... i guess i am not made for big cities anyway...

aceh again

2008-07-03T17:22:00.002+08:00

so here i am sitting in aceh for the 13th time... so fed up with the project here... don't know what to do, everything is a mess, really feel like going home...

i'd rather be home getting quotation from renovators for my new home... but being here all the time, sigh...

this update is going to be short as i have no idea what to blab about... there is absolutely nothing interesting going on over here...

oh, a head hunter called me up the other day, she called my up before several months ago telling me of a job opportunity, but after meeting up with her, i told her that i may not be the person her client is looking for... and i was right... then two weeks ago, she called me again, telling me that her client would like to consider other options because they can't get the right person for the job... and i told her the same thing, i wouldn't be the right candidate, but she pleaded with me and i said ok, i'll keep my options open... and then last week, her client had a tele-interview with me and told me that they will let her know by this week... just this morning, i sent her an email asking her what the status are, and to my disgust, she told me that i am not suitable for the job... now, don't get me wrong, i am not disgusted about not getting the job, i am disgusted about how she handled the case... 1st she called me and eagerly told me that my chances are good, but when her client said no, she didn't even have the simple manners of getting back to me... and she even ended her email saying that she will get in touch with me when there is a job opportunity! and i was thinking, dream on...

see, the whole thing is that she was the one who called me, and then made it seemed as if i was begging her for the job... anyway, if she calls me again telling me there is another job opportunity i will tell her not to waste my time... previously i had a few head hunters who called me too, but when they know that i am not successful, the immediately call and tell me how the situation was, and not just keep quiet... i was wondering, if i never wrote that email to her, would she ever get back to me?

new fuel price

2008-06-10T13:09:00.002+08:00

i bet all malaysians are sick of the new price, but there is nothing we can do to change it...

however we do have options to minimise the impact... for example, car pool... but heck, we are all so used to having the "freedom" and car pooling simply means that no more such freedom is available...

we can take the public transport, some say... yeah right! the public transport systems sucks...

read something pretty interesting on the email today, i think i'll paste it here... we malaysians are always asked to count our blessings... we have been using cheap fuel for a long time so it is about time for us to start paying more money to get fuel... literally this is rather logical... but please read the following to see if this is still logical to you...

A fisherman caught a sea bass and cooked it for his son to eat. Before his son could eat the sea bass, the father asked his son to pay up $10. The son thought that the fish was caught abundantly from nature and therefore at little or no cost, asked his father why. The father said “son if I buy that fish in the market, the fish would cost you $15. Therefore, you should be thankful that I’m asking you to pay only $10 because I had subsidised $5 for you!”

everybody is affected by the fuel price hike, i was buying fruits from an old lady by the road yesterday, and when i asked her how much, she said RM1, she usually sells at RM0.90 and she told me that the price of delivery has gone up, therefore she needs to increase the price to keep up...

one thing leads to another... by the fuel price going up, it also means that everything that is related to transportation will go up... food needs to be delievered, so it's definitely going up... toiletries that we use needs to be delivered, so it's going up... what else is not going up? let me see, ah, our salary!!! our salary will remain the same despite the rising costs... so what do we do? nothing, we complain... that's what we do best, that's what i do best... i complain... nuff said... better get back to work, before i loose my salary...

an update, apparently

2008-05-13T19:42:00.002+08:00

sudah lama tak update blog yer? jie jie go update your blog...

it's obvious that i left this poor blog unattended for a long long time... sorry peeps...

anyway, here is an update...

current i am sitting in banda aceh again, trying to get the working schedule into place... i lost count how many versions i made, but what the heck, the projects speaks for itself!!!

for the last 5 months, nothing much has happened... i made a trip to india, only to find that malaysia is still the best, for me, at least...

i'm not quite happy with the political events that took place, but hey, i can live with that...

i bought a house, in bandar botanic, now still waiting for the documentations and legal procedures to complete before i can occupy it...

quitted some of my online games to make time for real stuff instead... a good change i believe... but quitting the games also means that i am not spending so much time online anymore, which also explains the lag of blog update... ok, that was a bluff... i was lazy and didn't know what to write about...

bought a new guitar... hope to get back to playing it... hope i have the preseverence... my old guitar is somewhere in my sister's house, my brother-in-law wants to learn, not sure if he got around to it... but who cares, i was too lazy to ask him back for it, so i bought a new one...

well, that's all i guess, let's see when i'll blog again... not too long i hope...

shopping weekend

2007-12-09T21:51:00.000+08:00

budak kecik made her grand visit on friday... picked her up from subang train station and we head straight to the new aeon near my home... had dinner and did some window shopping there...

on saturday, we went to cheras, she has to attend an interview... so drove there early morning, because i was worried that i will get lost... reaching there, we were too early, so we parked at leisure mall and started shopping... needless to say, i spent my whole next month's pay check...

in leisure mall, there was this big crowd, and i was wondering what happened... so i went and see and saw that wynners, were having an autograph's session, so i bought a CD and joined the crowd... after a long que, got there and got their autographs... ummm.... they are not exactly my era, but what the heck, it was all fun and worth it... kenny bee looks amazingly gorgeous although he is already old... alan tam was there, and he looks great too, but he was very friendly and i wasn't expecting that... i mean, alan tam being one of the heavenly kings in the 80s, is actually friendly...

after that, budak kecik came to rejoin me after her interview, and we called mr. pancit and wife to come for lunch... went to kenny roger's and waited like half and hour for mr. pancit, oh, what else is new? how often does mr. pancit comes on time? we sat there for a whole 3 hours chatting away...

then budak kecik and mrs. pancit wanted to shop for shoes, so off we went... guess who bought shoes? me of course! bought myself a platform shoes to go with the dress i bought a couple of weeks ago... mrs. pancit said "you are already so tall, and you still want this?" (implying that the shoes are too high for me... sigh)... i am not tall, i am average, and gurls, if i am taller than you, it's not me, it's just you, you are short, *chuckles*

went home and we were too tired to do anything...

sunday morning, went to aeon, had breakfast and we did some last minute shopping before i sent budak kecik to the train station... i made a huge mistake... we walked into this outlet, jewelleries to be exact... i saw this pair of stunning pearl earrings... they were gorgeous, i was in love... asked for the price, and i almost died... can't afford it, those earrings cost a hefty 16k...

that is the end of my shopping spree... nothing really happening happened... another not so great weekend...

sweet ol' memories

2007-12-05T16:53:00.000+08:00

I was at a class reunion, and almost everyone asked me "are you on facebook?", so I thought I's register and see what it has... and this is the result of my search...

I was browsing facebook and found Hui Ming… Hui Ming and I go to different school, but we travel to school together, if I remember right, she is a year younger…

I messaged her and after exchanging a few messages, she sent me this “The memory of someone throwing egg at someone still makes me smile.”

I burst into laughter the moment I saw that line… this incident has clearly slipped my mind, and I think I never told anyone before, so I guess it’s time I confess…

I think I was 14, I can’t really recall which year, but based on the stuff that I remembered, I was having home ed., the teacher told us to bring the raw ingredients to school for the lessons… so we brought, at the end of the day, I had an extra egg, which I need to bring home… I was having this egg in my hand, holding it carefully for fear that it will break, you know how bad a raw egg smelled?

In the school bus, we were chatting away like usual, ah, carefree students days… and then, there was a boy, my age? Maybe a year older? Or a year younger? I really cannot remember… well, he is such a snob and thinks that all the girls are falling for him… to be truthful, he is not even good looking and he doesn’t converse very well in english, I think… I only know that I never liked him… so while we were chatting away, with the egg in my hand, (was it me? Or was it someone else? I need to confirm on the facts… ) we had a naughty idea, I was suppose to get down from the bus, and throw that egg at him… which I did… and the rest was history…

Of course, the bus driver made me apologise after that, which I did, but we never became friends… who would want to befriend a girl like me?

Good old memories… more to come as they popped back into my head, but I need people to remind me…

it's all my fault...

2007-12-04T14:36:00.000+08:00

Your top priority is Lhoknga… I believe I heard right, this is not the 1st time I am hearing this, I’m cool with it…

But what I am not cool with is, why tell me now that this is my top priority? A year ago, when I asked for more involvement in this project, answer was “NO, we have a site planner, you only need to be involved up to the time when the contract is awarded” so, contract has been awarded for a year, I am not involved in this project directly, I have not attended to any project meeting, suddenly, boss came up to me and told me “other than Jacques, you are the only one who is in the middle of everything”… since when have I been in the middle of everything? Since when this has become my baby?

I was involved in the beginning stage, and then it was instructed that I hand over to the site guy… which I did, and then the site guy resigned, I was asked to take over from him until they find a replacement… when they found a replacement, I was not informed. There was no handing over whatsoever… naturally that guy at site have not a single idea of what is going on… and then I was told to take my hands off this project, which is fine, because I need to work on a few other Indian projects…

And then, out of the blue, the told me that they’ve engaged an expert from Switzerland to do up a project plan, and I was told to tag along to assist him to get the info… and the tagging along process ended rather bad for me, because I ended up being the one who does everything… the site guy commented “this is not my work” and the expert said, “well, it looks like you have to do it”… I didn’t complain, although I really am upset over the whole thing, after I completed my assignment, the expert just mail that stupid thing to my boss and assume that he has done all the work… and he gets paid like don’t know how many umpteen thousands of Euros… and I get peanuts…

After that, I was asked to revised his work according to the site conditions, and then I started digging for all available information… a lot of information are missing… so I questioned the designer, I questioned the technical managers, and I cannot get answers… so, it is my fault that information are missing?

the expeditor missed a date, and I was blamed for not highlighting it? How can I highlight anything when the information is not available? I am supposed to run a look ahead to know what are the tasks that should be taking place, but how the hell would I know if I don’t have complete information?

The award of the equipment erectors has not been done and this is my fault? I planned to have erection works in March ‘08, so people, get it awarded before March…

I asked for a progress update from site and got a reply after 5 e-mails… I asked for schedule update from suppliers and contractors, and I have not got a single reply, so what am I supposed to do? A mission was planned for next week, but it was not confirmed, and this is my fault? Damn, everything is my fault! I need confirmation like there are actually people working before I go to site, what is the point of going to site when there is no one working? The steel structures came down, and thank god, for once, this is not my fault… but is there a stop work order? If there is, what is the point of going to site? When I asked for confirmation of mission, I have no reply, and this is my fault again… man, my job really sucks…

I cannot have information at my finger tips when I have no idea what goes on where… I cannot be in the project for one day and out the next day, and still know every single detail of the project, like when the next shipment will arrive… why would I need to be doing all this, when this should be done at site level? Why would be doing this when you are already paying someone at site to do it? And to make the matter worst, the guy at site gets paid more than me… I really get peanuts… so I guess that makes me a monkey… as the saying goes “if you pay peanuts, you get monkey”...

i think it's time for me to say "this is not my job"... i think this is really over and above my original scope...

rules to a happy marriage...

2007-12-04T08:24:00.000+08:00

heard this on the radio this morning, i think it's funny...

if you want a happy marriage, guys, you'll have to follow this fool-proof rules...

rule 1: your wife is always right
rule 2: when you think that she is wrong, refer to rule no. 1
rule 3: when she admits that she is wrong, refer to rule no. 1

guess this works for a boy-girl relationship too...

this is even better...

2007-11-28T19:58:00.000+08:00

and i thot my murderer example was good, but i guess i liked this better...

getting x* to 'help' is like having a rapist rape your daughters, several of them leaving home for good, and then having that rapist come back to you and say 'hey, sorry, i was just mad at you. let me make it up by taking your daughters to dinner. oh, by the way, i still hate you."

*names removed for good.

2007-11-28T10:31:00.000+08:00

Recent events have unfolded a few ugly truths about people… The most amazing part of it all is, one person destroys and yet blames another person for all his actions… and people are buying the story…

Well, to me it’s as simple as this… A man kills another man and his whole family, plead innocent in front of a judge, his defense is, the dead man has a bad problem, and I am killing the whole family to wake him up, I have full intention of reviving his family after that, and the judge ruled, “NOT GUILTY, now go revive the family, it wasn’t the murderer faults, the dead man bring this upon himself and his family, so dead man, you are GUILTY and be subjected to eternal judgment”… It is clear that no one can revive the dead, and the damages done are beyond repair, but people are still naïve enough to think that the revival is possible.

Of course, the recent event did not kill anyone at all, but spirits are burnt and tormented, and if this man or any of his friends who buy his stories thinks that he can repair all the damages, they can try… but my point is, when a mirroris broken, even if you managed to stick it back to one piece, the scar is still evident. Even if the man succeeds in reviving everyone that was innocently implicated, will the wound heal? For me, I would rather stay dead than to “owe” the man who has caused all this, a favor, because he revived me.

With this point made, I now rest in eternal peace!

worst weekend in a long time

2007-11-25T19:16:00.000+08:00

most of you already know, i play games online... i spent too much time online, i hardly go out, i hardly open my mouth to speak, all i do is face the computer, whether at home or at work...

on friday, as i was waiting to go the project review meeting, hubby messaged me and told me that i was kicked out of a guild, in one of the games that i played, i was wondering, why? as i cannot access to the game while at work, i have to wait until i go home, and since that stupid meeting was postponed to later that evening, i can't go home...

when i was in that meeting, my heart and mind was not in it, i have no way of answering anything the managers said, and they then decided that i need to go to aceh to better evaluate the progress... which means, i am going to aceh again, aww... my evening has just turned from bad to worse...

anyway, the meeting was adjourned early, all thanks to me... coming out of the meeting i managed to speak to hubby again, and he told me all the stuff he knew that was happening to the guild, in the game...

i rushed home and the 1st thing i did was to login to the game and see for myself... the kick from the guild was done by someone we trusted, all just because he was not happy with one person. man! i was devastated, it suddenly dawned on me that this is no longer a game, the people that were in it is like family, all with a common interest, all devastated over an event, and event that can never be undone, and event that causes many to loose heart... i guess i was one of them...

some of you reading this may say that "you are indeed the silliest thing", but i tell you, i am not, i spent many hours and effort in that game, and the people i met are real people, and it hurts to see great players like them leave the game, all because some people are cannot think properly...

enough said, i am still recuperating from the event... still pissed...

suicidal

2007-10-17T09:48:00.001+08:00

i think i am at the verge of committing suicide... ok... ok.. just kidding...

life has not been fair, i've had a hard life as a kid... growing up was not easy, i go to school with a bunch of brats, rich spoilt brats for that matter... i was the "unlucky" few who got subsidised textbooks... when i got into the class top ten, the rich and famous said "let me see you papers", not believing that someone not as rich as them can make it to the top ten...

working life was even harder, working in a male dominated industry, people looked at me with "coloured" vision... when i 1st started work, one guy told me "what are you doing here? you should go back to the kitchen" come on... what era is this? do you still think that the "weaker" gender belongs to the kitchen?

well, i struggled and sustained and made it quite far... although i hate to admit it, i am awfully tired of all the things that i am doing... sometimes i wake up early in the morning and think to myself, wouldn't it be nice if my place was really in the kitchen? wouldn't it be nice if i was less smart or less competitive... life would be simpler... i will go to bed thinking of what to cook the next day, instead of thinking how to get so much done in so little time... i would sleep better...

i'm sure many of you are going through what i'm going through now, any advise? how to overcome this? i'm really lost this time...

"ghost"

2007-09-01T23:21:00.000+08:00

since man brought it up... i'll fill you readers in with a creepy story...

it was my final year in the uni... moved back to the campus, shared a room on the 23rd floor with a course mate, eleanor... she is a sabahan... and a pretty one indeed... ok, that's not the point...

the two of us got along quite well initially... so we walk to lectures together... and we studied together in the room... it wasn't long before we realise something was wrong with the room... we had "encounters"... there were too many of these "encounters"... and i was freaked out...

for a start, we both love to leave the music on when we study... i had speakers, she had headphones... when we study, we don't face each other, well, not our fault, the tables are facing the wall, so we studied facing the wall, and backing each other... one day, while we were studying, she was humming to some really nice songs, and i had cassettes on, and since she was humming to such nice songs, i thought i'll switch to the radio, because i know very well which station she listens to, radio 4, sorry, those days, the astro stations cannot be heard from sabah... so, i turn off the cassette and turn on to radio 4, i was surprised, it was heavy metal on the station, and trust me, it was not normal for radio 4 to have such songs... so i turned it off, thinking that maybe just maybe she had some other station on... as i was too lazy to turn on the cassette again, i continue reading while the radio was off, and before long, the radio turned itself on again... i was in shock, so, i turned it off, took my book and went to bed instead... and there goes my day... later in the evening, out of curiosity, i asked her which station she was listening to, and she calmly told me "today only radio 4, the songs are great"...

and then there was this other time, we both were studying, and suddenly, there was some sound at the door, and we were sure someone was trying to get it, we looked and it stopped... we starred at each other, didn't say a word, and look back into our books...

and another time, also while we were studying, we heard a knock on the door, and i happily exclaimed "come in" no one was there, so i got up and went to the door, and she shouted, "don't open the door"... i looked at her, and she looked pale, really pale... she said, i have just invite IT into the room, and i was like??? and she started telling me her part of the story... it seemed in the nite, the "thing" has actually told her to open the door... scarry, right... anyway, i am not sure how many more encounters we had, but definitely not a good experience...

eleanor was freaked, and then she moved away, there isn't any other room for me, so i stayed back in that creepy room... and then, after she left, things were a little better... although i'm still freaked, i was getting use to IT's presence...

and then, one day, iris' and man's room had trouble, the fan wasn't working, and since i have a spare bed, man can to sleep in my room, and she survived one night... and the next night, she chose to sleep in her hot and stuffy room...

so, man, if you are reading this, and you want to put your comments about my room and the "thing" feel free to do so...

i was just thinking, maybe i imagined the whole thing up... it was final year, remember? i must be so stressed up trying to get my grades up...

an account on aceh

2007-08-23T14:27:00.000+08:00

well, like i said earlier, don't expect too much from this place... i am still lost for words...

today is my last day here in aceh, tomorrow, 1st thing in the morning i'll leave for medan... now, my heart is already back home... but unfortunately, i have to wait 5 hours in medan before i can fly back to kl...

in short, this trip has been tiring, this has been the longest trip i had to aceh... previously, i had other feelings for the people and the place... i felt sorry for them, they have been through so much, so why complain? but this time, me feelings changed totally... a couple of months ago, it seemed some guy was killed... supposedly, this guy is part of some NGOs to aid the reconstruction of this town... i was surprised... is this how you treat people who come to help you? but i wasn't quick to judge, i just listened to their stories...

and then, when i arrived at site, more stories flooded my head, the local are threatening our contractors, in short these people wanted money... money that they don't deserve... many people have came to help them, and i bet you the town is in a better state than it was before the tsunami, not sure, my opinion... these people who came to help has brought development to the people here, and perhaps, the people here saw that money was good, and greed overcame them, and they want more... don't this people ever learn? if they continue to press, it's just going to take the development away, and this place will be like this for the rest of the time...

met paul for dinner during the weekend, he seemed to have a different opinion about aceh... he seems to think that it wasn't as bad as i thought, but of course, he knows better since his been working here for sometime... and i was merely a visitor...

i didn't really roam the place, i only commute between the hotel and site... my observation, well, i guess malaysia was like that when i was 3... roads are dual carriage way without proper road markings... cows roam the land too... and goats as well... there are still a lot of space for development, if and only if, the mentality of the people here change...

as for work, i am tired, stressed, and well, sick of the work here... some of you may already heard my complains, i am not writing my complains here, i just wanted to forget my bad experience here, so no writing...

August 16, 2007

2007-08-18T14:52:00.001+08:00

Here I am sitting in the Medan airport waiting for my flight to Aceh… many thing filled my mind… we’ll start from the beginning…

Refuse to wake up when the alarm went off, when I finally forced myself up, mom was already on her way to wake me for the second time… and she told me the taxi man is already waiting, so what else, I rushed to get ready, and hopped into the taxi…

Reaching KLIA, I can’t help but noticed that the airport if filled with flowers, it must be the floral fest again… and the flowers really cheered me… after checking in, I went for my coffee at the usual place and had a bun, man was I hungry?

In the plane, I sat next to this couple… very intimate couple indeed… they were like hugging all the way, never mind, I slept all the way, well, almost all the way…

Reaching Medan, Zainal was waiting… I got my passport stamped, and went to wait for my luggage, remind me not to bring good bags to Indonesia… this is the 2nd time my luggage was damaged in Indonesia… I didn’t bother to complain, it would be a waste of time, so, live with it and when I get home, I have to buy new baggage…

Lately, I have not been happy, with many things, with work, home, people, I was too sensitive with people’s remark… and the yesterday I told Cube about it, she introduced me to the term “separation anxiety”… boy, this is new to me… and she said must be because I missed hubby too much… and I said, ya, but I wasn’t like thinking about him all the time, and she said, it’s not the mind, it’s the body… and she also said, “the mind is logical, the body is emotional” and I was thinking about what she said…

The mind is logical? Not sure, mine was never logical… I am simply this silly gurl who doesn’t waste time thinking… I know, this may sound bizarre to some people, I am a planner, or my profession is a planner, how can I not think? And some of you may think that I am the “organized” person… well, the truth is, I am not, so not… my life is a mess, and the projects are in an irrecoverable state… if I am that good a planner, then perhaps, things will be better…

The body is emotional? Err… not sure too, how is the body emotional? I thought emotions come from feelings… how is it then related to the body?

I am so down lately, everything just don’t seem right, and all this happened after my India trip, and I am starting to believe that I am demon-posessed… nah, just kidding… just that I’ve be reflecting a lot lately, and I looked back at my life, things that I’ve done… and I came to see that I’ve not done anything significant or spectacular… I’ve made bad decisions, hurt some people, and made some enemies along the way… and I guess the person I hurt the most is my dad… I never had the chance to apologize and now, what can I do? Nothing!

It dawned to me that, I may do well in school, not the best student, but always among the best… was in the best class since I can remember… no, don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to boast here… but I failed, big time in life…

Enuff of my soppy stories, I bet you are sound asleep by now… well, lets hope that I have interesting things to say about Acheh… this is not the first time I’m there, so don’t expect a lot… this is my fifth time there, and I am not expecting this trip to be different from the four I’ve had…

virus attack

2007-08-18T14:47:00.000+08:00

It’s a regular Tuesday for me and nothing spectacular happened except the fact that my computer has been infected with some virus. As I’m typing this, my laptop is still under the care of the IT department, and I am using the general PC… so, if you by any chance received some funny files from me, please do not open it, just discard it immediately, and don’t say I don’t warn you…

I was supposed to update this yesterday, but I was too busy. So since I cannot do anything else right now, I might as well start searching for words now… yesterdays was a day of meeting old friends, well, although not physically meeting them, I managed to get in touch with some old uni friends online…

Shocking news is all I can say… Huey See is now preggy… and the best part is, she didn’t even inform me that she was married, ya some kind of friend! Anyway, she is expecting ion November and my best wishes to her… I sibuk trying to find nice baby names for her lagi…

Some of you may not know who she is, well, she was a junior in uni, graduated two years after me in a degree of E&E Engineering… not directly my junior, but we both graduated from the school of engineering and information technology, and in case you’re wondering, yes, I have an engineering degree, although I am not a practicing engineer… funny how I end up here…

She was with two other gurls, man, my direct junior, and ket, a chemical student… all smart people… I was in my final year when these three gurls reported to the uni, man was staying opposite my room, with another gurl, Iris, some drama student (I cannot really remember tho’)… the three gurls together with Iris, always hang out in man’s room, and they tend to cook in the room, and since I am a “senior”, I’m always invited… and that’s how we started hanging out together…

You may find it peculiar why I’m hanging out with younger students, well, it’s simple, I am a loner and I don’t like competition, younger students don’t compete with you but instead they serve you good food…

So, my best wishes to Huey See, have a good time being a mom… to me, moms are the most precious creation of God… of course, 2nd to the Son of God…

I’ll be going to acheh (again!) this Thursday and will be back the week after only… this time, I promise that I will put some effort to write about that place, I’ve been there several times, but never bother to write… enough of my nonsense today, expect more nonsense from acheh, that is, if I have connection, but even if I don’t, I’ll still write, just that I’ll post later…

my life is going virtual!

2007-08-07T16:39:00.000+08:00

man, i hate to say this but it's true, my life is going virtual... i spend too much time in front of my computer and i almost have no life... well, i have no life!

on the average weekdays, i wake up at 6, i go to the office and work til 6, and then i go home, usually reach home at about 7, and that's 13 hours... take away 2 hours i use for travelling, 1 hour for lunch, i spend 10 hours in front of my computer... reaching home, i take one hour for dinner, bathing, and then, i switch on my computer again, and spend another 3 to 4 hours there... and then i sleep, and this goes on and on and on...

on the average weekend, i wake up at noon, and turned on my computer almost immediately... can spend the whole day there until i fall asleep again... the only time i spend outside will be church on sunday mornings, and that is only about 2 hours...

i told you i have no life... i don't even call budak kecik on the phone to chat anymore... what is wrong with me? i talk to people over MSN, YM, skype, in-game, etc... but i don't talk to real people anymore... i mean, not that those people are not real, just that, i don't share laughters, i don't touch... the only laughters i get is "lol", "lmao", and the only things i touch are my keyboard and mouse...

i must do something about my life... 1st i must quit my games... otherwise i won't have time for anything... but damn! those games are addicting! i shall quit some of my games... especially those that demand all my time... like fallensword and cyber-wars... but to leave these games is not going to be easy...

then i'll do something physical, like picking up my guitar again... left it for so long, i think it's about time i move my fingers...

all these are just mere plans... i shall put them into action... i shall do it alright... i will do it... aww... who am i kidding? how can i spend time away from my computer when i talk to hubby using the computer? man, this sucks... can someone come up with some ideas? like asking me out for a movie sometimes, or go yum cha sometimes... eh... where are all of you when i needed you the most? somebody help!!!

a proper note on my india trip

2007-07-29T21:45:00.000+08:00

Ok, I am finally back home. Now a week after, I finally get hold of myself to write, sigh… what is there to write about? well, India, in short is a beautiful place, at least that is the way I perceive it…

On the day I stepped down from the plane, I was greeted by the driver, he smiled and sent me to the office. Oh, before that, the immigration officer, um… like usual all government servants are not friendly, you hardly get a smiling face when they are verifying your passport, so never mind…

So, on the way to the office, cows are everywhere, the roam the land, just like what HL told me… but I am fine with cows you know… it’s ok to see them everywhere… but I would like to tell you, the way the drive in India, man, it’s horrible! There is almost no traffic rules in existence, and the use the honking device to it’s maximum… cannot drive in silence for 5 minutes… and I also figured that the radio is not in use while driving, since you cannot hear anything, it’s only honking everywhere…

During the week days, it was plain working for me, no time to go anywhere, but I managed to go shopping on Saturday evening and Sunday. On Saturday, after work I told the driver to drop me in this place known as the new market, it’s pretty near the hotel I stayed in, so I went shopping for stuff, needless to say, I was a foreigner, and the reaped me off… what else is new? Paid a lot of money for some stuff, but never mind, got some pretty stuff too… for instance, I bought a green saree for myself… ha, I have no idea when I’ll wear it, but heck, I but it since it’s pretty… bought some shawls, shoes, tea leaves, bangles, anklets, and many more stuff…

On Sunday, I went to the Victoria memorial, lovely place, they won’t let us take photo inside, so I took a few snaps outside… met this 2 indian men, from Hyderabad, so they told me, they said “can u take a picture of us” and “we want the print out, so how can we get the print out?” in the end I emailed them, and they took a total of six pictures… it’s funny how they go on vacation without the camera, and then ask others to take photos for them… I know I won’t do that…

these are the two indian men i met outside victoria memorial...

After that I went to Salt Lake City Center, a nice shopping place, but is crowded with human… I should’ve just done my shopping here, at least it’s fixed price, and the prices are more reasonable, but never mind la… and I had my henna tattoo, they called it “mahndi” (if I spelled it correct), paid 100 rupees for it, pretty cheap tho’. Buy more stuff and then tired and all, went back to the hotel, content with all the purchasing that I’ve made…

The following Monday I had a different driver, so he took a different route to the office, but I quite like this new route, because there was a stretch where, you have horses feeding by the road side, and also some goats and sheep too…

So far, what I’ve written are about places, it’s nice and pretty there, but India is not really a nice place to be in, the people are poor, well, most of them are… food is scarce for the poor, and most of them still lives by the road side… in the morning, you can see people taking baths by the roadside… man, I thought those days are over… the gap between the rich and poor in India is very wide… the rich are rich rich, and the poor, hardcore poor… it’s sad to see children begging for money… the old has no place to stay, and they are so thin, it’s obvious they had nothing to eat… but I was warned that I am not suppose to give when they come begging because then, the whole bunch will swarm in and hope to get something off you… so in the end I didn’t give… but on the last day I was there, on my way to work, at the traffic light, a kid with a blind man came to beg at the window, and I figured since I am in a car, and the car will move, so even if I give, the rest won’t swarm in, so I gave… and you should look at the joy in their faces…

So, that’s all from me, about India, let’s hope my next trip is to a more pleasant country…

the victoria memorial, beautiful building, made of marble...

Kolkata July 14, 2007

2007-07-14T18:32:00.000+08:00

Today is a Saturday and after a year, this is the 1st Saturday that I have to work… what a shame… ok, that’s not the point…

I have not written anything since I came to India, reason being I am so confused… I cannot describe this country, it’s joy and misery all in one… the hotel that I stayed in looks like a palace, the room is huge, one of the best I’ve stayed in…

Outside, it’s a different world… people are begging, struggling and suffering… people had not enough to eat, people sleeping by the road side… on the way to Kolkata, in the plane I was reading this piece of article about sugar cane farmers… more and more farmers are committing suicide because they cannot make enough to pay their debts. People kill themselves so that their family members can get some sort of subsidy to pay off the loan… if the remain alive, they will not get this subsidy from the authority… one man left behind a widow who earns 20 rupees per day… that’s 600 rupees per month, if they don’t fall sick… I was almost in tears, and the steward was worried of me, keep asking me, what else I want, how am I, etc. they even gave me a small bottle of red wine to take away…

Now every time I ordered an expensive meal (not that I purposely ordered, but it’s just expensive, imagine 2 scrambled eggs cost you 225 rupees), I will feel so guilty, breakfast at the hotel costs around 500 rupees, and dinner can cost as high as 1000 rupees, enough to feed a family for a month…

On Thursday, when we went out for lunch, a girl was begging for money outside the car… I didn’t look, it’s pitiful, I was with some colleagues, I was afraid that I’ll be in tears. Then yesterday, an old man, only has skins to clad to his bones, was begging outside the car, came by my window, I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to give him some money but I was afraid, that more will come, and I didn’t want to give the driver a wrong impression, that I am this silly (although I am silly) gurl, cannot wait to get rid of her money… but this old man really touched me, I can’t stop thinking about him, I felt so bad that I was so cautious, I should’ve just given him some money…

“Dear God, please bless this place, bless the people, break the stronghold, give them revival Lord, protect them and reveal to them Your plans and Your Kingdom, that they may experience the Love, and that they may have a hope and a future, Amen”

my trip to terengganu

2007-07-04T16:40:00.000+08:00

so, hubby came back after 2 months... and i picked him up from the airport in the middle of the night... saturday was more sleeping and resting, oh, we went to watch fantastic 4 rise of the silver surfer... the one that budak kecik missed...

sunday we drove back to kt... but since we woke up in the afternoon only, we started the journey late and took us over 7 hours to reach kt... what else is new? upon reaching, his sister fed us as if we were piggies...

on tuesday, we took the ferry to redang, it was a blast... the place was beautiful... didn't do much there tho', we were just resting and relaxing... lazing around... feeding the squirrels... oh, and snorkelling, i am not good with waters, so i snorkelled near the beach, but the fishes, oh wow and mighty... they are lovely...

went back to kt on friday, and then drove back home on sunday and amazingly the ride home took 9 hours... we stopped everywhere, to buy stuff, keropok, akok, baulu, ikan masin, etc etc etc...

nothing spectacular happened, but i must say, i enjoyed the week, relaxing... yum, looking forward to the next trip, me planning to go either to cameron or melaka when hubby comes back again...

hubby going back to qatar again this weekend, so a few more days to go, and then i'll be single again... so friends, get ready to ask me out to yum cha! ok, signing off now, bye!!!

budak kecik

2007-06-20T14:52:00.000+08:00

she finally made her grand visit, and i was so tired, i am still tired after so many days...

met her on friday, she took the train to subang and we went for makan at subang parade, i wanted to go to Friday's but i was worried that we can't finish the food... so in the end we went to delifrance instead... don't eat the fish&wedges there, lousy, eeew!

we went home, and then went for coffee at my favourite cafe, i introduced her to the encolato, and in case you don't what that is, it's steaming hot black coffee over icy cold mint gelato, yummy... then reach home at midnite, and we chat 'til 2. fell asleep, and i am sure i was snoring, but she's too tired to notice, so nevermind...

woke up at 7, saturday morning, get ready to go out and i realise i can't find my camera... gosh, took me over half an hour to find a camera that is sitting next to my bed... me plus her and our glasses, we had 8 eyes and still cannot find that huge camera... what is wrong with us? anyway, drove to central to meet sashi, and what else is new, we were late and pity that boy, standing there looking left and right, up and down, cannot see us, and we were standing in front of him, took him a good 5 minutes before he sees us... aww...

after breakfast, we took the monorail to titiwangsa, and the journey was like lightning, before we know it, we are already there... we talked and laughed all the way there, people must think that we are crazy...

eye-on-malaysia: sashi is afraid of heights... yeah, believe it! he is climbing up and down at site for his inspection and testing and he expects us to believe that he is afraid of heights? no way! so he cannot avoid, he went on eye-on-malaysia with us, we had a private cabin, 6 rounds and that is all we get from our ride... and you should look at sashi, don't even dare to look down... me and budak kecik was laughing 'til tears rolled down our cheeks... ok, ok, no tears, i am exaggerating...

then off we go to KLCC for lunch and then went to aquaria, and now i am a mama turtle, that's what i like to call myself... i adopted a turtle for good cause, and i call it "tippy", i am sure tippy will grow up strong and big, and re-populate the turtle tribe in the world... i hope... i sincerely hope that this move will succeed, it's so sad to see the turtles dissapearing...

dinner at the saujana on mr. pancit, and this time, he was punctual... amazing right? but he didn't get the tickets to f4... and on a saturday nite, no way we could get tickets, so we went home after dinner...

reaching home, budak kecik was sleeping soundly, while i chat with hubby online... when i said she was sleeping soundly, i mean soundly, ok...

the next day, we went to ikea, bought some stuff and then i sent her to pudu jail... nah, not true, i sent her to the bus station to take a bus home, and i went home... believe or not, this is the 1st time i drove to pudu, and it wasn't that bad...

as of today, i am still tired, and sick, and it's raining in india!

budak kecik and sashi grinning from ear to ear, inside our private cabin on eye-on-malaysia...

me and my weekends

2007-05-20T16:24:00.000+08:00

hello all, i am finally back in action... well, actually after my operation the other day, i have gone back to work, but work is now demanding too much of my time, hence i cannot write too much...

to all those who bothered to ask, how was i, i am fine and thanks for your concern... to those who didn't know what was going on, well, read my previous post...

some of you may already know, hubby has gone to qatar, and this is already the fourth week he is gone, so all my weekends are rather dull... the weekdays are easy to pass because i am so over loaded with work, the weekends, gosh they are long...

i miss him so much, i never thought i'd ever admit this but i really miss him... i always thought i was that kind of person who can live whether he is near or far, but the reality seemed to show otherwise... sigh... still counting the days before he come back... the problem is, i don't know when he is coming back...

ok, like usual, on a sunday like this, i am sitting the my regular cafe having my coffee, so there was this few person sitting on the next table, and they caught my attention... actually i wasn't even listening until i heard one of the woman said, can i have the catalogue, the waiter was like ?, and then she sounded very annoyed and said, you know your book where i can make my order? and the waiter went, oh, you mean the menu? and she said yes... and then after all that hassle, she ordered, "limau ais" and the waiter went ha? and again annoyed she said, you know, tea, with some limau... the waiter said, you want iced lemon tea? she said yes...

i was controlling my laugther, so bad of me, to laugh... but then what really pisses me off is that, if you cannot speak english, speak mandarin la... what's the big deal, i spoke mandarin when i place my order, not because i cannot speak english, but it's simply less formal... you are in a cafe, not a hotel or any high class place or what, what is there to show off... and then when the poor waiter delivered her "limau ais" he was cursed again, all the poor guy did was, smile at her, and she told her friend, smile what smile, wait until i slap him, aiyo! and she said that in mandarin... i was thinking, try to slap him and see what i will do... well, the fact is that the waiter is this young boy only, probably a part-timer in this place, and all he is trying to do, is earning a decent living, and this woman just walk in and behaves like some pain in the a**...

and then, she was having a laptop, just like me, as usual, i play games, and i don't know what she was doing, i couldn't be bothered, with a woman like this, come on... and then, her boyfriend, or husband or whatever was curious and told her to teach him how to operate a computer, and she like hero showing off... click here click there, then scolding that man, telling him like why i said left you click right, but the problem was i heard her said right!!! so instead of left clicking that poor man was right clicking and getting scolding for no reason, and i was like, at the tip of my tongue, wanted to tell him, come i teach you... hehehe, but i never did that la... why bother with other people's problem...

just came to my mind, i am not that bad after all, i treat people nice when they are nice, i am only nasty to bad and nasty people... so who say i am bad? hmm... i am a nice person... ok, give a pat on my back and say "well done, silly, you are nice!" ok ok, enuff of those silly thots, lets get back to life... ok, signing off now and i am going back to my games, bye people!

april

2007-04-10T18:15:00.000+08:00

this is my first post in april and i am doing it from acheh... sigh... what am i doing here? i don't know... this will probably be my last post for this month too... i'll be going home on friday only and on monday i'll be admitted to sjmc for my thyroid removal surgery and i guess i'll be away for three weeks...

if i will be alive and well, i shall update this blog and let you loyal readers know how i am doing... signing off now... adios...

updates...

2007-03-29T12:32:00.000+08:00

here i am sitting in the aceh office looking blankly into the screen of my computer... i am actually quite tired... will be going to medan later this afternoon and back home the next day... then it'll be the weekend... gosh, am i counting the minutes or what?

went to the MSProject training the other day, was held in JWMarriott, KL, and the place is nice... the 1st day, i went to register and then the nice lady told me that they have breakfast at the hall, so i went to get a quick bite, and the waffle counter smelled delicious, so i waited for the chef to prepare waffles... there was a lady in front of me, and another one behind me, i was 2nd in line... so once the waffle is ready, the chef cut it into two and gave the lady in front half, and as she was handing the other half, that woman behind quickly put her plate infront and said "i can handle half" i looked at her with my eyes almost popping out of it's socket, how rude can one get? then she shyly said, oh, you want a whole piece and not half right? and i said, as loudly as i can to make sure everyone else knows what is happening, "i only wanted half, but if you are so hungry and cannot wait, you can have that 1st, i have no issues with that" i was just thinking, is where does she comes from, judging from the clothings, she looks great and don't seem like an idiot... but the fact is, she is one... luckily she was not in the same training as me, she is in some other convention, if she is in the same training as me, i would've mocked here every other chance i have...

went to sjmc to get an ultrasound for my thyroid (however you spelled it), the doctor said it's too big have to be removed, so next week i'll go make appointment to let him cut open my neck... quite nervous about it actually, some people are of no help, they keep telling how major the operation is, how long it'll take to recover, how risky, how this, how that... the thing is, i KNOW the risks, but i need more comforting words la, like don't worry so much, doctors nowadays are very skillful or something like that la... well, the bad news is, the lump could be cancerous, so the doctor have to take it out and then do some tests to see if it is cancerous, i am hoping it's not, but i am still freaking out...

loo loo

2007-03-16T16:35:00.000+08:00

loo loo, skip to my loo... skip to my loo my darling...

i was reading through some of my old posts, and amazingly i was laughing away... it's been quite some time since loo loo appear in my blog, and i though what the heck, lets write about her anyway...

i realise how boring my blog has become when it's not centered on loo loo... so, today, i think i will some of the tales i heard about her... yes, you are right, she still disgusts me... even though we are far away, the thought of her makes me wanna puke... wargh...

well, for a start, give me the honour to remind you that she is easy... *L* (chuckles)... i bet you know what i meant when i say easy, right? well, let me remind you that when she first join zelan, she was cute and i quite liked her, in fact i spend lots of time with her, and when people criticise her, i back her up... but alas, good things don't last, do they?

let's see, there was a cute and young engineer, gee, i think, don't know can't remember, anyway, she was head over heels, she makes sandwiches for him, and buy things for him, and then he went away... then there was a rocky, some qs or sumthing, not sure, and she was also head over heels... aiyo, i think she must be walking on her head... she buys things for him, handmade some momento for him, and he went away... and then, the consultant, david, same story, she made things for him, made breakfast for him, and he went away... i remember kak cat told me, that david told her that loo loo is scary... and there was kelvin, sumbody's boyfriend, and she actually told me that she wants to snatch kelvin from his gurl... and guess what, did she succeed? no, kelvin's gurl was tall and pretty, and loo loo is well, just loo loo... she made sandwich for kelvin, and etc etc and then he went away...

there are so many other guys in the office whom she has flirted with, and you can't blame her really, given her level of education, and the place she's from, she hardly get any opportunity to get to know guys who are educated, and earns a decent living... so she trying her luck, a little too hard...

well, you want to know what pisses me off? there was a guy in my department, known as boboy... many of you know who exactly that is, and guess what, i heard boboy is getting married! i am not sure if i can trust my source, but we'll leave that as it is... so one day, loo loo told me to tell boboy off, she said boboy is harrassing her, touching her every now and then, so, me like a busy body went to tell boboy off... and then guess what, i saw her harassing boboy away... she was touching him here and there... i was like ?!? so, she is making up stories to make people believe that all guys in the office are like head over heels in love with her... and that disgusts me... and not only the boboy's case, there were many other case... for me to write it here will make the post too long...

anyway, one more distinct thing that i can remember about loo loo, which makes me classify her as "easy" was, she likes sleeping in other guy's house... wait, re-phrase, in other guy's room... many many of them, some of them even got into trouble with their gurls after their gurls found out about the incident... and i think some gurl even came to the office to confront loo loo... easy huh? you be the judge...

my sister's ex

2007-03-15T10:53:00.000+08:00

i was driving to work this morning and since hubby is not around, i was just cruising along the roads and was thinking of a few things...

i remembered my brother telling me the other day that my sister's ex is now attending the same church as him, and since i attend the same church as him too, that will make me and my sister's ex church mates... there is nothing special about him really, except the fact that he has two younger brother, joshua and jeremiah (i think)... i remember that joshua is kinda good looking and he is the older one among the two... now, today i am not going to write about joshua, but the other brother, and we'll call him jeremiah for now, or at least until i confirm his name...

so, he was a few years older than me, and when my sister was still dating his brother, she was only, well, maybe around 20, and that will make me 15 at that time... and my sister use to tell me that jeremiah is a shy guy, too shy for a guy... and my sister told me, why don't you tease him... look, when i was in my teens, i used to give guys, or rather, cute guys, prank calls and talk to them and flirt with them... so, i called jeremiah, and spoke to him, and me being me, i am a flirt, a helpless one for that matter... so we talk and talk and eventually, i think he fell for it... then, his mother was complaining that his son is being harrassed by a gurl, and my sister was telling me about it, so it make things a little hard for me... i can't remember how we stop talking over then phone, and i can't remember a lot of things, but poor guy, i feel guilty, i still do...

so to all the guys whom i've called and flirted with, i am sorry, and usually i don't do this alone ok, i have friends who play along...

let's see how many names i can remember,
1. andrew, i called him together with penny, and we ended up as friends until we stop contacting each other when he started working, i think he is about 4 years my senior...
2. jonathan, my partners in crime was janice and li sim (can't remember how to spell her name tho')... he was janice's neighbour, and she is like head over heels... a year my senior i guess, not really a sporting guy...
3. yoon yee (i think i got the name right), rebecca was the one who initiated it, she thinks he is hot, i think he is just clever, one of the top scorers in his time...
4. tze leong, janice thinks he is hot, i thougt he was cute, rebecca thinks he is "the" one... but in reality, he is very "gurlish"... not my kind, cannot speak proper english...
5. ysl, yvonne's cousin, but she plays no part in this, she is a good gurl... rebecca was crazy over him, lasted for a short time, i doubt he remembers me...
6. wareen, i think, this one must be the cutest one of them all... everyone thinks he great...

there must be a few more, i have vague memories, but the names just can't come up... well, what do you expect that was like 15 years ago... i was a teen and i am out to look for fun, you know...

nothin' in particular

2007-03-13T11:15:00.000+08:00

i am so tired of working... hubby told me that since i like to surf the net so much, i should open a cyber cafe and work there, then i get an income and i get to surf the net for as long as i like...

i have not been working well lately, all thanks to the latest craze, bananaking... needless to ask, it's a game, and i am not alone in this you know, budak kecik is with me, hubby is with me too, and guess what, ian is also playing, yes, he is only 4 but he is playing...

i guess the latest news from my side of the world is, notty (she has changed her screen name to self restrained, but i prefer to keep her here as notty) is going somewhere sometime soon... she has decided that she will not go to abu dhabi, but she is still going somewhere, australia... hmm, nice, i am already planning my holiday while she is there... and hey notty, you are suppose to get me a job there!!!

budak kecik is suppose to come visit us all, but thanks to me, she has to cancel her trip... her intended trip is suppose to be this weekend, but since leh bee is getting married, (CONGRATULATIONS!!!) and i'll be occupied, so budak kecik has to cancel her trip... i hope she makes it at the end of the month, that way, we'll be able to at least have a farewell for notty before she leaves...

ariel wanted to celebrate her birthday in a nice hotel, so i told pak pancit to check out the rates, and until today, i have no news yet... sigh... i hope he will not pancit during the big day, which falls on april 1st... (pak pancit, jangan ko kata april's fool sudah!)

mom will be baby sitting my new nephew soon, next week it seems, hope she can handle baby bradley... wesley's little one month old brother...

that's all for today, i better get back to my work, else, i will be out of job pretty soon...

shrooms

2007-02-28T09:54:00.000+08:00

some of you may know that i have this ambition of being a mushroom planter/ cultivator/ whatever... so i started my project a few weeks ago and these are my 1st product... yummy and delicious...

dolphins or sharks...

2007-02-28T09:45:00.000+08:00

take a guess, are these dolphins or sharks? hubby went to qatar the other day and he caught this nice looking photo...

did the sky just had a hole or what?

gong xi gong xi

2007-02-16T17:39:00.000+08:00

it's the lunar new year and i want to wish all of you happy new year...

confused

2007-02-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

here i am sitting in my office at 2:45 p.m. i have no idea what life is, i have no idea where i am heading to, i have no idea what i want... there is this mixed up feeling all stirred up inside me...

since hubby went to qatar the other day, i have spent my weekends alone, most of the time i'll be spending most of my time in front the computer, last week was not any different... i guess this quiet time i spent in front of my computer makes me think, and i think i think too much, way too much...

this morning i woke up as usual, and drove to work, i reach the office pretty early, and i did my usual stuff, you know, vampires, knights, techs, and the latest craze, bananas... as i was doing my things, gregoire, (nice name right? i like that name too...) walked in to the office and he left his stuff on his table and walked over to me and said good morning... he is good looking, very good looking, but he is seldom in the office because he spends most of his time in Vietnam... i guess after this he'll spend more time here since his project in Vietnam is considered completed... ok, that is not my point, what i was trying to say is, he looked so tired and aged... i don't know why, i am getting this feeling all inside me, i don't want to be like that when i am that age... these people are working too hard, i guess... and this is bad...

during lunch, i snaked out to visit a friend, she just had a baby about 5 weeks ago, so we went to visit her... and the usual lecture i get, was like?!? part of me wanted a baby too but the fact that i am such a lousy person will not make me a good mum... i know i won't be a good mum and i know i will not do a good job, so why the trouble? furthermore, hubby will not be around too much later, so if i get preggy, who's going to take care of me?

stupid drivers

2007-01-26T08:18:00.000+08:00

every weekday morning i woke up at 6, start my journey to the office at 6:40, can you imagine driving 35 km a day to get to work and having to battle through the traffic? today, i finally lost it... for those who knows how i drive, i am usually a careful driver... so as usual i started my journey through the KESAS and after paying the new-too-expensive toll, the traffic is usually heavy, most people are driving very slowly and what amazes me the most is that people who are going at 60 will be at the right most lane... so today, i was over taking some very slow cars which are on the middle lane, and in front of me was this few very slow cars on the right lane... and behind of me came this orange coloured kelisa almost kissing my butt... i don't understand this stupid woman, she is driving a car half the size of mine, and yet she drives as if she is indestructable... but that is not the main story...

after i over took those slow vehicles in the middle lane, i thought i'd move to the middle lane and give way to that mad woman, so i signal to the left, and guess what, she honked at me pretty loudly because she overtook me from the left... not that i didn't look left before i changed lane, but she was going so fast and i bet i change lane before she came honking at me... and for my friends who knows my temper... i was pissed man, real pissed... i know i shouldn't do this, but guess what i honked back at her so loudly and since she was infront of me, i flashed my high beam like nobody's business... and let me say this again, i was driving a 2500 c.c and she was in a 1000 c.c, so i sped up, tail gate her and she was fast, she was going at at least 130, and my guess was she got scared because a giant is after her... and then, because she was reckless, she didn't see that there was a car in front of her and she had to slam on her emergency breaks... and since your's truly has a big one, i saw that car there all along, and that didn't frightened me, so from behind her i switch lane to the right and overtook her... ok, when i was changing lane to over take that mad woman, i did use my signals... i always use my signals...

i just don't understand, how this people drive... can't they be more considerate? do not over take from the left, not to mention that it's dangerous, it could be fatal... and while you are driving in a busy road, please be more cautious, and don't drive above the speed limit... and when you see a gentle giant, do not provoke her, she may retaliate (like i did) and you may get hurt...

you see, i was a fast driver, but i speed when the road is clear... and i always drive at or below the speed limit... and the only time i break the speed limit is when the road is absolutes empty... you see, if you are reckless, and you get yourself killed, fine, i have no problems with that, but by you being reckless, you are putting others at danger... can you live with that? if you can, you are not even human, and you don't deserve to live...

nothing...

2007-01-22T17:50:00.000+08:00

i am sitting in medan right now and i have no idea what is going on with my life... seriously, i am kinda lost lately... um... lost may not be the right word, but sort of like that la...

i was going through some of the blogs of my fellow blogger and realised that i have missed out so many things...

a short update of my life:

1. hubby left for qatar last monday (it's been only a week but i felt like it's forever)...
2. work like a dog for the past months, i almost forgot what is my mother's name...
3. went to the gynae, not because i am preggy, but because i am not well, the doctor said emotional stress... and now, she has given me some medication to eat... hope things will get better...
4. i am stuck in medan for now, i have no idea why...
5. tomorrow i'll be going to acheh for a day trip, also no idea why...

so many things happened and somehow i just can't put it in words... i am just not in the mood... i am very tired of all the working, perhaps i worked too hard... i think i am missing out on a lot of things, but what?

appraisal time

2007-01-11T14:40:00.000+08:00

after more than 6 months working here, today i face my very 1st appraisal session... during confirmation, i have no appraisal because boss was too busy...

this is the annual appraisal time and i've finish, just about 5 minutes ago... generally, i was nervous, and don't know what to say... but lucky for me, no need for me to say much... my boss was pleasant, he has always been... and he said that i was a good professional but i wasn't good enough to challenge the project managers... so my biggest challenge for 2007 was to challenge all those project managers... seriously, i don't know how to do that...

the good news is, he has approved my training application... so if everything is smooth, i'll be spending 2 days in JW Marriott in March this year for my training... yippee...

Happy Birthday

2007-01-11T08:38:00.000+08:00

yesterday, wednesday, jan 10, started out as usual... the only difference is that hubby was in pasir gudang for his sea survivor training... so i woke up at 6 plus and get ready to go to work... i reached the office shortly before 8... work as usual, and lunch time, went with the usual people to eat...

after lunch, i saw jenoh online and i buzz him, and he told me that he can't make it to the dinner... what else is new? i have expected that coming anyway... so later when i saw notty online, i told her that he can't make it... but we decide to go on with the dinner without jenoh...

at 6 plus in the evening, i left my office and head to the komuter station to wait for blurblogger and notty called and said that baha may want to come... and she also said that it is unlikely that he will come because he never shows up, and i said what the heck, if he comes, he comes, if he doesn't, never mind... while waiting for blurblogger, i was talking on the phone with budak kecik and we chat about many things... like CP is no longer poor... he is rich, and looks smart already, but i seriously doubt the looking smart part... how smart can a looser like him look? ew... i hate that guy... who cares, he still owes me 5 bucks... and i asked budak kecik to ask from him... if he is rich, and smart, he'll pay up right?

blurblogger arrived about 7:30... we head on to TGIFriday's in subang parade... while we were heading to the underground parking, baha called blurblogger and ask where to meet, and we told him at Friday's... and upong reaching, notty and blurblogger went ahead to pray, since it's prayer time, and i sat there all alone and i ordered my drink, orangeade to be exact... while waiting for them, i look through la carta (the menu) over and over and i also made up my mind that i'll go for the mushroom, chicken and mushroom... you all know i am a mushroom lover right?

when the 2 ladies arrived, i was shocked to see baha as well... anyway, that's not the main issue, they ordered their drinks and notty and myself decide for baha and blurblogger what they should eat, and we ordered a lot of things for the two of them, from starters to deserts...

and then we chit chat like usual... and then suddenly we heard people singing "happy birthday" song... and after the song, they all sang another song, and i do not know what genre is that, but it's nice... so notty went to see who is singing and it happens to be the crew of Friday's...

we wanted them to sing for us, but we do not know how to request for it... what to do? what to do? after a big meal, the four of us are like half dead, notty and baha went out to take a puff... not that baha smokes, but he accompanied notty... i chatted with blurblogger... and then, the singing starts, this time it's for another table... and then, notty came in and she was grinning... we still wanted them to sing for us... i told notty, we should say that it's baha's birthday and ask them to sing for us... although we all clearly knew that it was NOT baha's birthday...

guess what baha said? what else, no, please don't... but we couldn't be bothered... when the nice gurl came to clear our table, we put our plan into action, we started calling baha birthday boy... and the gurl said, "it's his birthday?"... and we said, yes yes, and baha said no no... and then we asked her if the crew can sing for him... and baha said no no... the gurl said he doesn't want, and we said, he is just shy... in the end, the gurl brought a choc. cake, complimentary and the crew sang for him... he was blushing, we were laughing, and we laughed so hard, i almost puke...

we laugh and laugh and laugh and we had the choc. cake for desert, and we also had a sundae, and we were full... and we chat for a little longer, and then we kissed each other goodbye... nah... no kissing, we bid our goodbyes and went on our own... i was still laughing this morning and i came to work late... and after that hearty meal, i will fast today...

and to jenoh, too bad you miss the fun...

Merry Christmas and A Happy New Year

2006-12-21T17:31:00.000+08:00

the time is here again, my favorite holiday... i loved christmas, not because of the presents, but because of the significance in my life... christmas is a day where loved is demonstrated...

anyway, here is a little lyrics of my fav. christmas song, i only know the chorus tho'.

christmas isn't christmas til' it happened in your heart,
somewhere deep inside you is where christmas really start,
so give your heart to Jesus, you'll discover when you do,
that is christmas really christmas for you...

have yourself a merry merry christmas and a happy new year...

back at last

2006-11-27T08:26:00.000+08:00

hello planet earth, i am back at last...

i have nothing on my mind today... so, jenoh aka pancit, actually i prefer pak pancit, is coming back soon, or is he back already? when are we going to have a coffee cum catching up session? do we want to wait for pak pancit or what? well, people, please arrange something, i have been dying to speak BM and also dying for some local food!!! even if you plan something at the mamak, i'll be there..

the bao's park

2006-11-19T15:36:00.000+08:00

i am not going to try to use words to describe, see for yourself...

qinfeng pagoda

2006-11-19T15:30:00.000+08:00

ok, this is the qinfeng pagoda i was saying...

my 1st outing

2006-11-18T19:45:00.000+08:00

hello there people... today i went out on my own for a sight seeing trip...

i only have one word in my mind as i walked around the park... wow... i am falling in love with this place... but it was raining... ok, let's start from the beginning...

i woke up, surfed the nest for awhile then, went to breakfast... afterthat i took my winter jacket and left th hotel... and yes, it's raining... no, not those rain you find in KL, it's soft and soothing, not to mention cooling too... well, initially i thought i want to walk to the Bao's Tomb, not too far from the hotel, but since it's raining, and you know how good my sense of direction is, so i decide to take the taxi... nice lady driver... paid rmb 6, pretty cheap huh? so she dropped me of at the entrance of the tomb... i walked in the place, and bought a ticket for rmb 50, also very cheap... the 50 is for entrance to 4 place... the tomb, the pagoda, the memorial temple and floating city... the lady told me that if i buy a all park (sounds like Genting ler?) ticket you save about rmb 25, so i said ok, i'd buy the all parks ticket...

1st stop, the lord bao's tomb... you know, it is amazing, he is such a great person/judge, that everyone loved him... i think after all that he has done for the people, he deserved to be honoured that way... in this tomb, there was his grave, and also the grave of his wife and children and grandson... and there were also a coffin chamber... the chamber, they don't let us take photos... when i get back, be sure to catch me to see more pictures...

and after that the tomb, i went to the pagoda, qinfeng is it's name... well, the pagoda has a few stories, 2 under and 6 above... the underground has lots of patung of none other that the justice, and the patungs shows events that has happened before... there were some dialogues as well, but as if i can understand.... and the above ground, nothing much, except so paintings on the wall, etc... there was a giant lord bao patung also... near the main entrance... aiyo, dunno what is wrong the pagoda photo won't load...

after the pagoda, i went to the floating garden, or floating city, i also cannot remember la, but the view, wow!!! beautiful... i won't be typing so much on this garden, i'll let you see for yourself... but i'll try to upload later... i've been trying for over an hour... getting tired already...

the rest of the day, i'll save it for later... ok, see you, i'll try again later, and see if i can share some photos with you...

friday

2006-11-17T21:12:00.000+08:00

ok, i have nothing better to do... so i typed this as well...

Date: 17-Nov-2006

Ok, today I have to change room because I wanted to extend my stay and they told me that all rooms are taken… so I woke up early and pack, went for breakfast and then came back to shift my stuff…

Today, very good, go to office no see accident…

Went to the office like usual, and then go to meeting again… well, what to do? RC is around… I have discussions as usual with that poor guy… he seemed so stressed out… well, guess what? I am also stressed out la…

Nothing special happened today… it’s getting colder by the day… but I am still enjoying it… lunch at the nice HCRDI café again… and we have multitudes of food… the thing is it is such a waste, I mean, China, still have very high poverty, but the way we waste food everyday is really bad… but these people just ordered like 10 different dishes, and then, never finish… haha, don’t harap I want to help them finish, I am still watching my weight ler…

Just now I go downstairs to try to book the 1-day tour… too expensive… well, they are going to assign me 1 tour guide and they will charge me RMB 400 that is about (RM 200) for a one-day trip, and only to 4 places… no transport, I have to walk, and I have to pay my own entrance fees… aiyo, I may look like a tourist, but I no ah lian la… anyway, I bought an English map for RMB 20 (wonder is it’s claimable, hehe, nevermind, I never ask for receipt also) and tomorrow, I’ll try to ask around to see if I can go to the Justice Pao’s grave and some of the nice parks…

Today, I had a quite cheap dinner ler, RMB 21 only… has a big bowl of noodles with minced meat and mushroom, and I also ordered some kuih, and then the noodles so much cannot habis, kuih also got 2 more pieces… later supper la… hey, but this is Chinese food arr… tastes really good la… I think I will go again, tomorrow evening maybe… try the spare ribs noodles pulak…

Now, as I am listening to the Hillsongs, I am typing this, probably I’ll go to sleep after this… and if I am successful with my own walkabouts, you’ll be able to see some pictures…

updates from China again...

2006-11-17T20:56:00.000+08:00

well, i was caught in the meeting for 2 days, so here's my update for the past 2 days...

Date: 16-Nov-2006

Woke up at 6:30, gosh what is wrong with me? Get to wake up late, then I wake up early, when I need to wake up early, I can’t get up… something wrong somewhere… wonder where? Anyway, after I woke up, I iron my shirt, and my pants, ha, yes, I have to iron my own clothes… um… what a pity, I am not under the wings of my mommy anymore, therefore, have to take care of myself… sob… sigh…

This morning, sure enough, as I was expecting it, I saw another accident… the poor girl was crying and luckily this time there was a Mr. Policeman around… but I really don’t know what and how it happened…

During lunch, they gave us KFC, yeap, you heard (or was it read) right, I had a burger, I think it’s Zinger, and some french fries, and also had a corn… well, I think the corn we have back home is very much sweeter… yes, I am complaining, I miss home… I miss hubby, I miss mom, I miss Coffee, and I bet all of them missed me too… I missed all the lunch time with Kevin and HL too… hehe, all the time eating and complaining about none other that his majesty (guru besar, HM)…

Now, I am sitting in the meeting room, and they are having a discussion but I have nothing to do with it… you know what just happened? I have to teach their guy how to operate MS Project… pengsan, I tell you, he is suppose to be controlling this project and I have to coach him on the software… not that I am complaining, I pitied that poor guy ler… he so kesian, he is supposed to be a director of something, but then, he is stuck with this scheduling work… it is kinda sad though… he seemed so knowledgeable, and yet, stuck, I bet it’s because they couldn’t find another ah beng to do the job, so this poor guy have to do this job…

Just now RC and me were discussing when I will be able to go back home, and we calculated that I will only be back there by the end of next week…

I still don’t know what I am doing in this meeting room, there is nothing concerning me anymore, I only wish that I can be back there to check my e-mail and at msn with HL… this room is quite stuffy, you know I tak boleh tahan stuffiness la… I think I’ll pengsan soon… better go walk outside and catch some cold air… ok… the good news is that this meeting room is on the 3rd floor, and in this floor the toilet’s door is full height, haha, but, the left a small opening between the floor and the bottom of the door… and when we are squatting, I keep having this funny feeling that the person outside may just peek and see… haha, I guess it is just me…
I hope this meeting will finish soon and I’ll be able to go home soon… or at least get to check my e-mail or something… ok, just got a sms from HL, and ok, I’ll repent… aiyo… mati lor…

Date: 15-Nov-2006

Went to bed about 10 plus last night and don’t know why at 3 plus I woke up… so I tossed and turned, and then fell asleep again… woke up at 6:20 and got ready to go to work…
Breakfast at the usual place, and after breakfast I went downstairs to wait for the driver… the driver is a nice uncle… he was there waiting already, and since we were waiting for Alfred, the Lafarge guy from Canada, I had a chat with the driver… and I asked him about the lake I saw… and it turns out that is not a lake, it is actually a very long river, surrounding the city, to prevent intruders. Remember, I said Hefei was a part of the 3 country war, and one of the popular general, Chao Chow, used to train near this river…

And the uncle was very sweet, he used a different route to take us to the office, and along the way he also explained some of the landmarks in Hefei, like the grave of the great Justice Pao… and near the grave, there is also a temple, I think it was built to honor the judge… well, although I don’t agree much with the temple thingy, I do agree that the Judge is a very honorable person… for all the justice that he upheld…

And I witness another accident today, between a car and a van… when we drove pass, there were hardly any damage on either vehicle, but the drivers were fighting… and I meant physical fights… I hope I won’t see another accident tomorrow…

Lunch was the same again, lots of food, and I ate till I am overloaded… then after that I was waiting anxiously for RC to come… and after he came, we had a meeting and then dinner… at dinner, we talked and laughed, and ate lots of food again, and this time, there was lots of meat and I really have a hard time to swallow… well, for a start, the forced me gobble down a “fei chu yoke” eeew… at home, I don’t touch this stuff, and then there was mutton, the smell on this mutton is too strong for me, so I had a piece and then stopped… oh yes, and the made me drink corn juice… yes, corn juice, I mean, I eat corn alright and I like them, but corn juice? Eeew…
RC also told me that I may not be able to go back this weekend, I will have to make sure that the schedule they are preparing is realistic, workable and achievable… well, looking at the progress of HCRDI, I think I will not be able to complete my task before Friday…

I came back to the hotel and I am quite tired as of now… and I have already send my pass 3 days’ dirty laundry for cleaning… I think I’ll stop now and get to sleep… ha, tomorrow no need to wake up so early, RC said to leave the hotel at 8:30, which means I get to wake up at 7, yeay…

diary in china

2006-11-15T09:44:00.000+08:00

hello there,

this is my records of events for yesterday...

Date: 14-Nov-2006

After falling asleep real early last night, I woke up quite early… actually I left the TV on last night, so I was like half asleep and half awake… but I rested alright… work up at 6:30, got ready went for breakfast at 7:00 a.m., and at 7:30 went to the office… breakfast was buffet, and I had a heavy one, bread and ham and the list goes on…

on the way to the office, I witness an accident, the poor lady was on a bicycle and was knocked down by a motorcycle, and it happened in the middle of the intersection, and no one stop to help, except for an uncle carrying a flag, i think he must be the traffic controller or something... i finally understand why our government has laws to protect the pedestrian, motorcyclist and cyclist, if not, no one will stop for them, and they could be at a very high risk...

In the office, nothing much happened, I had a short discussion with that scheduler, actually he is not a scheduler, he is some don’t know what director… after that discussion, I had nothing to do so I surfed the internet… then came lunch, we had lunch at the HCRDI’s canteen, it’s more like a restaurant… Actually the whole HCRDI is like a small town in itself, there are accommodation, etc… it is a nice place… back in Malaysia, when we eat Chinese food, we eat the rice concurrently with the dishes… but over here, they serve all the dishes, then we ate almost all the dish, then they serve rice, along with some long beans… and then they just eat the rice with the long beans… I think the long beans must be their signature dish, when I was in Beijing, I had those long beans too, only difference is that the long beans in Beijing are fried with pickled radish, but the long beans in Hefei is only long beans…

After lunch I managed to get that scheduler guy to come for another discussion, and told him again what to do… tomorrow morning have to check his progress, otherwise mati, PM coming in the afternoon, and if work is not done, how to answer?

In Hefei, people get two hours lunch, if only we get that in Malaysia… that’ll be sweet…

In the evening came back to the hotel at about 6, then went to hunt for food, I actually went out of the hotel and took a walk, it was cold out there, but it’s nice… and then don’t know what to eat, I went to the same place I had breakfast and have buffet dinner… the food is not exactly nice, but was ok…

That’s all for today, more tomorrow…

from china with luv...

2006-11-14T13:42:00.000+08:00

so here i am in china, hefei to be exact... well, where do i begin? do i enjoy myself this far? i guess the answer is yes, but i have not been walking around much, just the airport, hotel and of course the office... other than that, um, no where else... i liked the weather, i am not sweating here... and the hotel i am staying in, it's good too, i have taken a few pictures, but i'll only post it on if i have a quick connection, for now, no... later maybe...

ok, i've type something in my hotel room last night, i'll paste it here, in case you are interested in what i've been through... later, when i have more, i'll post it here too...

Date: 13-Nov-2006

Boarded the flight and started eating non-stop… after breakfast or was it supper, fell a sleep with big boss sitting behind me… felt kinda awkward, doesn’t matter… I didn’t sleep well, but I did doze off for a while… at 6 a.m. they switched on all the lights and I woke up for good… then they served yogurt, yummy, I had blueberry yogurt…

Landed in Beijing at 6:40 a.m. right on schedule, long que at the customs, but it was ok… was freezing cold, but because of the crowd, I was sweating away… it’s 8°C outside… anyway, now it’s about 8:00 a.m. and I am sitting in this nice place called Viojou restaurant, had a nice breakfast, and very full and sleepy now… I have to wait until 9 to check in for my flight to Hefei, and once I reach Hefei, I will not have the luxury of sitting around… well, I will do some work for the project now, and after checking in, I will walk outside the airport, take some pictures and feel the coldness…

That’s all for now, will come back and type more nonsense…

It’s 7:15 p.m. now, but it felt like 10 p.m., anyway, after I checked in for my Hefei flight, I went and smell Beijing… it is cold out there… I didn’t go very far, I just walked around for a while… then, at about 9:40 a.m. I went to que for boarding… gosh, the crowd, I really tak boleh tahan la…

Boarded the Hefei flight, and doze off for awhile, then, after taking off, I woke up, they serve lunch… for such a short flight, I must say that they serve quite heavy meal, I had rice with some chicken and vegetables… comes with a bun, and then I had orange juice… 2 glasses… then, landed in Hefei…

Hefei isn’t really cold like I expected, I can still walk around with normal clothing… Beijing is colder… the guy they sent to pick me up, was a young guy and not to mention good looking too… he was nice, he asked me whether I want to go to the office 1st or hotel… so I said hotel, then office, then he asked whether I want to makan or not, I said not because I was still full from the food on the plane… and then, he told me to rest, and he will pick me up again at 2:30. I mandi and explore the room, and watch some TV, and to my surprise, Hefei is the hometown of the famous Justice Pao… and also the central of the 3 country war…

Ok, I will not talk about work here, it’s too depressing, and since this after office hours, I will leave work as it is, and concentrate more on this place that I am in…

Generally I liked this country except 3 things… people spit like nobody’s business, eeew… and the public toilets, don’t they flush? And in the HCRDI’s office, the toilet is like, half height, the door, meaning, people can see you when they stand outside the toilet, eeew… double eeew… and the final thing is, the traffic, actually the way they drive is more accurate… aiyo, the squeeze and squeeze as if they are so flexible and no one give way to anyone… hmmm… freaks me out…
Right now, James Bond is on TV, starworld, the 1st ever James Bond apparently, but my eyes closing, and mouth opening wider and wider, I think it’s time for me to shutdown and hibernate… tomorrow is another day…

china it is...

2006-11-10T18:01:00.000+08:00

so after a few weeks of where to go, my boss has finally put his foot down and said china... this sunday evening, i'll be off to china, hefei to be exact... but the only problem is, i don't know when i am coming back... boss said must, must finish the work there before coming back, if the task takes 10 years, then i have to be there for 10 years...

i hope i enjoy my trip, but gosh, i am nervous, very nervous for that matter... this is my first time in china, and i'll be there alone... thinking of it alone is making me nervous...

while i'm there, i'll try, to update this blog and at least inform you guys that i am still alive and well... now, me going home, tomorrow going to pee dee for family day, and then sunday evening, i'll be off to beijing 1st, then hefei... i'll only be in beijing for 4 hours... then i'll take another connecting flight to hefei... haha, i'll be staying in holiday inn, sounds good, but don't know, i don't have time to look it up...

did i celebrate raya or what?!?

2006-11-01T08:00:00.000+08:00

hi people, i am back... did i celebrate raya or what? answer is, no... but i was a way for a while (from the office that is) and then, when i came back, i was too exhausted to update this blog...

i have a question for you: what will you do if someone you trust absolutely betrays you? i realise that someone i trust completely actually lied to me... shatters my heart, and tears can't stop... and then, there is a point when tears won't come anymore, i guess i am completely dissapointed, and my heart dies... sounds dramatic isn't it? well, if you have experienced it, you know what i am talking about...

Deeparaya

2006-10-20T14:10:00.000+08:00

Wishing all of you a Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri...

i am getting ready for my long holidays, today will be my last day in the office, and i will be getting 5 days off... wow... 5 days... hmm... but i have no plans... so i will be sitting at home doing nothing except getting fatter... hahah... but i'm loving it...

i am also still waiting for notty's call regarding tonight's plan for breaking fast... ya, believe it, the plan is for tonight but it is not confirmed yet... sigh... pity... anyway, i've told my mommy not to cook for me, so if tonight is called off, i'd most probably call my hubby and date him...

signing off for this week, so all off you, have a great week ahead, and don't forget my kuih raya... send them to me... and also my duit raya...

so much... too much...

2006-10-18T10:06:00.000+08:00

i have not been blogging for a while... reason is, i have no time... ya, right...

anyway, so many things have happened, and words just cannot describe what... for a start, i went to Genting the other day, because, i had a super duper long weekend, and when i was there, i realised that the flowers along the road are edible... hah, i am not kidding you... there are edible... i took some photos of the those pretty flowers, and i will post it once i downloaded it... the flowers are known as "day lily" and it used to be a chinese delicacy... only found in dried conditions... but i was surprised to see the fresh and boy, are they beautiful...

after that, i went to the movies with my big sister... the jackie chan, rob-b-hood, the show was hilarious... not to mention the boy is so cute... wish i had a son that looked like that...

then i came back to work... and then i went to jb to attend to a friend's wedding... the wedding was great... she was stunning and beautiful...

this week, nothing special happen except that the haze is very bad... and i am looking forward to the buka puasa this friday, hope notty_little_me sorted out the whole thingy... but it is just too bad, i can't get mr. shy guy to go... he always has his excuses... this time he said he has another appointment but he went on further to suggest monday, i wonder to trust him or not... i figured out better not... what do you think? tell me about it, i would love to hear your opinions...

Gif 'em a break...

2006-10-05T13:24:00.000+08:00

ok guys, i know lots of people are following up on what my next move will be about notty and mr. shy guy...

well, i don't know, it seems we are all geared up and excited but the two lead players are having jitters... so i guess that's it, we'll give them a break, and see how things turn up... i know, i know, you guys may be a little dissapointed, so am i... but rest assure, i am not giving up just yet... but perhaps, they need the break...

we'll see if we can work something out... surprises are not good in situation like this because i am sure neither of them will turn up if i tell them that i am arranging something... and if i don't tell them, and get them to meet up, then, things may get ugly... so how?

i've spoken to mr. shy guy yesterday, and boy, he is shy... and when i say shy, i mean real shy... perhaps, there is another way... hmm... let me go back and put on my thinking cap... not that i have a lot of brains, but i am sure my pea-sized brainy will come up with something, and even if i don't, i am sure you guys can help me come up with something...

Match Making

2006-10-02T09:40:00.000+08:00

as the title of today's post suggest, i am playing match maker... i am trying to match make notty_little_me with someone from my office... well, actually, i have not informed notty about my plans, sorry arr...

anyway, now she knows... the fact is, she has seen the photo of the guy i was trying to match make her to, and it's a go ahead, this guy is cute... and well, cute... and this guy has seen her picture... well, indirectly, coz, i told him about "ubi-kayu.blogspot.com"... and he seemed to know her from somewhere...

the news is, he is a bit shy... and i said i wanted to arrange a buka puasa for their 1st meeting, but i don't know... i am having doubts... so what do you think notty? if i arrange will you turn up or not? i will not be arranging a private meeting for two because i think the both of you are also "shy" *chuckle*... and if i go with the two of you, i'd be out of place... i don't want to shine like a spotlight, if you know what i meant... so the best idea will be maybe, get a few colleagues to go along... i still don't know... maybe jenoh can help out... any ideas jenoh? or in the matter, what's your say notty? or anyone of you with any good ideas, feel free to drop me a line...

hope to have good ideas streaming in... bye bye...

me and my vampire

2006-09-27T14:13:00.000+08:00

i am coughing like nobody's business, perhaps it is because of me going around too often hunting men for some blood... hahaha... sounds scary right...

it is not only me you know... budak kecik is also a vampire... and we both happen to belong to the same vampire clan... and we are trying to recruit more vamps to join our clan...

if you don't know what i am talking about, click on the "games" link on my sidebar, then you will know what i am talking about... of course, there are more vampires than you can imagine, notty_little_me is also a vamp... surprised?

well, there are more vamps in the neighbourhood than you can imagine... trust me, join me, and we'll have some fun...

there goes my Sunday

2006-09-24T16:54:00.000+08:00

thierry sent me an sms yesterday evening at 7+, but i didn't see it until 10+... the sms reads like this... "hello, nickie, please call me"... so at 10+ i tried to call him, can't get through... so i sms him back saying "sorry, just got your sms, tried calling you, can't get through"... and about 10 minustes later, he sms me saying "i'll call you tomorrow"...

so this morning, i was suppose to be at church, owing to the fact that i was sick, i didn't go to church... came out of bed quite early, and then, went for breakfast with mummie... this is the 1st time i took her to mamak... man, i bet she enjoys it!!! i know i did... and then went to Tesco for sundries shopping... and then went home and at 2+, thierry called me and told me that i must go to Pasir Gudang tomorrow, coz, the silo is twisted... dear me... what am i supposed to do? gosh, i know i graduated in civil engineering, but as far as i can remember, my job function does not include civil engineering... anyway, i called hui lin, and she told me to stay calm...

and now, i am sitting in my office on a saturday evening... trying to pack my things for tomorrow... wish me luck...

a short update...

2006-09-22T09:16:00.000+08:00

i am not sure whether anyone actually read this blog anymore... i have been neglecting this blog... and i remembered a couple of weeks ago, i was saying that i'd be a little more hardworking and will not neglect this blog no more... see what happens, things got from bad to worst...

life has been very unkind to me... nah... no more pity party for yourself... actually, my life has been hectic for the past two weeks... on 13 sept, i was in pasir gudang for a site inspection... yeah, you heard right... you must be thinking, inspection? whatever for? you are a scheduler not a site person... well, the story is long... and to cut the long story short, i actually stood in for the civil engineer who was away... and since the work at site cannot wait, and i have a peanut sized experience at site, so thierry sent me... well, i must say, i was a little excited in the beginning, i have been away from site inspections since my days in westport which was like 6 over years ago... and then, the nightmare begun... problems with the installation works and i am suppose to advise the contractor for a solution... gosh... how??? dunno... so i held the work... and because it was a design and build contract, and we are the client, i told them to get the designers to re-design, smart move right? ha!

then i came back to the office and work and work... in the weekend, i thought i should treat myself to something because i was so worn out... so i went for facial... and the gurls there manage to persuade me to try out their slimming treatment, and thanks to my horizontal measurement, i agreed and paid over RM250 for the 1 time treatment (that was excluding the facial arr! i paid another RM230 for the facial ok)... the facial was good... but the slimming was ouch... it was painful... i was upset... their treatment wasn't like those in the expensive outlets like slimming sanctuary or there was another one i forgot the name, i think now they call it london weight management or something... those were 'wow'... relaxing and it made you feel good after the treatment... so the lesson for the day is, if you want to slim down, got the branded places... the treat you like queen...

on monday, i went to rawang plant for a training, and to summarise the training, it was tiring and boring... half a day i spent in rawang and by the time i get back to the office i was too tired to work... and then, thierry called me at almost 5, and told me that i need to get back to pasir gudang for the inspection again... ouch... so i told faridah to arrange for the flight...

monday night i didn't sleep well, coz i took part in the 8tv sms contest and monday night was the closing, so i was bz smsing... and on tuesday, i was a little sad because i thought i didn't win... (the 1st prize was a mayfair slimming package worth 5000 ok)...

on wednesday, i flew to pasir gudang and spent the whole day there... i left my home at 5 in the morning, and reach home and 10:30 in the night... lucky thing, this time, everything was in order... oh, and the most happy thing that happen today was, 8tv called and told me that i won 3rd prize... not bad, not bad at all... but because i was in a discussion with the contractors, i didn't ask them, when is the prize collection... hmm... maybe i'll call them later...

yesterday, i went to rawang again, for a plant visit... and got back to the office at 3:30... and i thought i want to go home early, but ended up reaching home at 7... life...

today, i am still so tired and i thought i won't work... so here i am sitting here and updating the blog for the 1st time in two weeks...

and i thought i want to maintain a blog specially attributed to budak kecik, and perhaps the blog should have the same theme as the blog i once have for Kumar... and then, looking at my tight schedule, i guess i better not...

Half a Million Anyone?

2006-09-07T08:02:00.000+08:00

I am trying this out... so help me click... as often as you can... if i get half a million, i'll share... i promise... *chuckle* like as if i will get the money... hahaha...

Who wants to be a half-millionaire?

Hunted Down

2006-09-05T15:54:00.000+08:00

yesterday, steve irwin, a.k.a crocodile hunter died a sudden death... he was stabbed by a sting ray while filming an under water documentary... he leaves behind a wife and two kids... it is very sad and many people around the world mourn the loss of this guy... (and that includes yours truly)...

i remembered grissom, the guy from c.s.i, said in one of the season's finale "i prefer to know when i'm dying, at least, i can prepare and bid farewell" (it was not his exact words, but it meant something like that)...

got me thinking, which way do i prefer to go? i don't know... perhaps, going suddenly relieves us from pain and worry, but what about the people around us? how are they going to adapt to the sudden loss?

your say... which way do you prefer? i guess many of us believe that when you are due to go, just go... what i am saying is, what if you have a choice, which do you prefer? suddenly or knowing that you have a few more months to go?

I'm Back

2006-09-04T08:53:00.000+08:00

hello earthlings... i am back from my super duper long weekend... i am tired and worn out...

my trip back to kay tee was not exactly very unforgetable or very exciting... it was ok... but i went to kenyir for the 1st time... took some nice photos, will put it up here sometime...

other than that, i am suffering from monday blues and i don't feel like working at all... somebody help... oh, and today, hubby starts work in kl and yeap... i have to start adjusting to "married" life... *chuckle*...

i am going to keep this post short... so i am signing off, buh bye...

boys, boys, boys...

2006-08-29T09:10:00.001+08:00

yesterday, i left office at 5 sharp... went home, watch disney channel and then went to the bank... my mom followed me to the bank, like usual, because i was lazy to find parking, so she usually sits in the car while i run into the bank... for reward, i usually take her to supper...

as we were driving home, we past by the holy redeemer church in berkeley... and mom asked me about the church... so i told her, that church is a roman catholic church and it is huge... i think it may be the largest catholic church in town... and then i told her... i used to know a guy who goes there... a pretty nice guy, and his name's andrew...

as i was driving home with her... i told her about guys that i've liked or dated or guys that was once interested in me... thanks to the mocha i had for supper, i was lying wide awake in my bed at night, and i was thinking about all the guys... so i thought i might as well put it down in the list...

we'll start with andrew... a guy i knew way back when i was 13... that was more than a decade ago... he is not very good looking, but he is real nice... if i remembered correctly, he must be 3 or 4 years my senior... we were very decent friends... how i know him? he was not my schoolmate... since i attended an all-gurl school... there was one sunny day, me and my friend, penny, we were walking around the school waiting for school to start... and then, she saw her school bus... and inside was this guy, giving us a wide smile... well, i didn't really look, and penny told me that he was good looking... and so we decided, that penny should go get his phone number and we should call him... so she did, and we called him, that is how we met... and then we meet one day, i can't remember how or why, and then penny decided that he wasn't good looking at all, and she turned sour... but i was ok with his looks because i thought he was nice... i was a flirt! trust me... it wasn't like that... i was nice... and sweet... and andrew like me better than penny... we kept in touch... we really did keep in touch, i remember, we went for a double date, together with leslie and elaine... a few years later... and then, nothing happens... andrew is a perfect nice guy... i wish i can get his contact again and keep in touch...

when i was 16, also more than a decade ago... i met clement in elaine's party... well, we dated for a few months... at the same time, i met vincent, while working part time in ocean... and we also dated... elaine told me that i should not be two timing... and i have to choose... i couldn't decide, clement is very sweet and timid, while we dated, the only thing he does was hold my hands and gimme a peck on my cheek... vincent is very daring... and it was with him that i learnt about french kisses... hey, nothing more than that ok? i couldn't decide... so i didn't choose...

then, when i was 17, i met chee yong, he was like 8 years older than me, and i never thought anything could happen between us... i never thought he will like me, because i treated him like my brother... well, he did like me... and he didn't tell me that until a few years later... just a few weeks before i was going to leave for my degree... i was shocked... almost died... and then, i forget about it, and went to study, so nothing happened after that...

i met rodney when i was 17... we kept in touch... rodney was in for sex... and that was the only thing in his mind... he was a year or two older, but he keeps talking about sex... we went out for awhile and i find it very tough to keep my virginity around guys like him... so i cheated and i told him i was a lesbian and i wasn't interested in guys... fuh! what a lie... well, that didn't stop him... he told me that he could help me get interested in guys, if i tried it out with him... hehe, guess what? i didn't... i may be silly but i am not stupid... but we still kept in touch, he even send me for my 1st interview... meaning, we kept in touch for more than 6 years, champion or what?

i met wui heong while working part time after spm... and he liked me, and he never told me... until, before he goes back to perlis... hey, what do you expect, me to follow you back? no way man... i was 17, still a long way in front of me... i was not in for a steady relation... actually, i was more interested in his friend... i can't remember his name though... well, we kept in touch until i was doing my internship in kepong... he sent me home once and that was our last encounter...

form 6 was crazy... we were all crazy because of the stress... and i always remember him... i'm not putting his name down, because, you see, he may be reading... i have crushes on him, we used to talk on the phone after school and we used to walk to the bus station together... well, he was not interested in me... he was interested in my friend... what can i say? but he is cool... and the best part is, we are still friends...

after stpm, i was working part time and i met kelvin... ha... very good looking minus brains... a silly guy generally... but what the heck, he has the good looks... we tried to work something out, but it didn't happen... i have all the brains and he has all the looks, everytime we go somewhere, every gurl is staring at him... i became green like the incredible hulk... hahaha just kidding...

and then, there was uni, and there was where i met ernest, we dated... simple as that and we broke off... because, we had different views about most things... but we are still cool, we are still friends... and i have also posted a photo of his baby gurl in my blog a few weeks ago...

in u, i also met khoo... hehe, nothing really happened other than the both of us trying to break rules... like staying past the curfew and refused to go back to our room... etc...

after graduating, i met woon... dated him until i met my hubby... the rest is better left unspoken because, my hubby and i have gone through so much... so much has been sacrificed for this relationship and i am thankful that we went this far... i really hope that this will not end...

again, if you came this far with me... drop in a line to let me know... there is a prize for the winner...

Eggs Anyone?

2006-08-28T13:09:00.000+08:00

i found this cute thingy on the net... so i thought i'd try it out, i am not sure how it works though...

so, here goes nothing!!!

farewell people of zelan

2006-08-28T11:09:00.000+08:00

this week is a last week for many of my ol' friends down in zelan... *sob... sigh...* i hereby wish all of you who are leaving "best of luck" and "all the best in your future undertakings"...

i heard there was a farewell lunch last week, how was it? yummy? delicious? or was it choking? haha... whatever it is, eat while you still can...

i would also like to take this opportunity to congratulate all those whose contract magically got extended by 3 months... hmm... 3 months? why not 4? or 2? or 6? why 3? 3 months later will be nov... and then what? extended again or what? i am getting so confused... well, we have people making drinks for all of you who survived there... but who's gonna clean the toilet? oh... i forgot, budak kecik is still there... the chief of all toilet cleaners... hah! looks like budak kecik have to do all cleaning by herself... pity... but what to do? what to do? her assistant, yours truly, got away sooner... otherwise, i'll join the crowd in the toilet cleaning process... *chuckle*...

i think my blog is getting a bit cold... or perhaps, boring is the right word... i am running out of ideas... and this blog is turning into my personal diary... sounds stupid to be blogging about your own life right? anyway, anyone, anyone at all, if you have an idea on what to blog about, please drop in a line or two so that i get some fresh ideas... maybe i should run an online contest? then, we may need some sponsors... and if you wish to sponsor... contact me...